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Last week my ex blew up on me and did the whole devaluation gig. They calmed down and last night wanted to talk, apologize, and discuss plans for New Years. This morning I'm getting texts telling me that I'm their best friend, they miss me, that they love me and they want us to work out.

Do we think that this is love bombing? What are some examples of overt or sneaky love bombing that you have witnessed after a splitting/devaluation?

I hate you, don't leave me playing out right before your very eyes.

Beyond that, how do you feel? What do you think is going on? What is your heart and gut telling you?

Keep in mind...I am mindful of your screen name. To live up to its meaning I have to ask are you willing to tolerate this behavior? Do you think you deserve this behavior? Do you or do you not think you can do better?

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

The way my HR spiked when I read your message. It read like I had been caught posting on this site and they knew somehow. After rereading it, it definitely doesnt read that way, but wow the ptsd response I had to thinking I'd been found out in some way.

For me, the love bombing was one of two types - either "you're so awesome", "everything you do is amazing", "I wish I had your life" or else its more akin to "future faking", talking about the future with me in it "our children will be gorgeous", " we should start a business together", "lets rent a cabin and spend the weekend together" (with zero follow up on things like the last one). Turns out, he wants those things, it just doesn't have to be me specifically in those scenarios.

After the discard, the love bombing is much more subtle but very much still like the first category. He says I'm amazing and he wants me in his life but his actions do not match the words at all. THAT is something I am still working on - I am very  much a person whose word is her bond so being with someone who doesn't mean what they say was amazingly hard.

"You are the best person I've ever met"

- while she was sleeping with someone behind my back.

Here's mine -

I need to treat you better - followed by breaking the dishwasher about 6 weeks later because I answered a work email on a Saturday afternoon.

"I love you so much, and I've never felt this way about anyone before.  I want to be married to you more than anything. I would do anything to be married to you. "

Five days later I'm discarded, and she brags to a mutual friend the very next day that she's talking to 4 old boy friends from her high school days from 17+ years ago. Two weeks later, she's in a committed relationship with one of these guys (had been with him more than once prior to me). He's the new love of her life shortly after that, and mutual friends told me she was hitting him up for marriage 3 months into the relationship. I do not miss the instability of her one bit and am happy to be in a stable/consistent relationship presently with someone else.