BPDFamily.com

It’s been 4 months since the end of my relationship with my BPDex. The last time we spoke was 2 months ago over text, where I attempted to reconnect, but was met with a stonewall response. She responded very quickly, but told me to keep moving forward like herself. No contact since then.

Yesterday morning, while on Instagram, I see her profile as a suggested user. She unblocked me. Why? This means she had to go into her blocked users list, and consciously unblock me. Besides this, nothing else has happened. She hasn’t texted me, hasn’t requested to follow my account, nothing...

I’m confused, sad, anxious... What does she want? Why now? What is she thinking? What is going on? Is this some sort of game or test? Does she miss me? Could this not mean anything?

Since our confrontational, painful break up, I’ve wanted to have a meaningful, honest conversation with her. This unblocking thing is making me think she is going to initiate contact sometime soon, but I think it’s also possible that it could mean nothing since she hasn’t reached out or done anything beyond unblocking me thus far.

What do you think? Why is this happening? What is the most likely reason she unblocked me? Has anyone else here experienced this? If so, what came of it? Any thoughts or suggestions on what to do or what not to do are greatly appreciated.

Deep Blue

I'm not familiar with your story...so I'll ask if you regularly had "meaningful" and "honest" conversations with her prior to your break up.

As general advice you should either NOT try to think about what someone else might be thinking...or...reach out and ask them what they are thinking.

The middle ground will drive you bananas because there is simply no way to know.

I'll check back later today to see you reply.

Best,

FF

Hey formflier,

Yes, while not seamless, we did have heart to hearts fairly frequently. I’m really just confused. Last time we spoke, she told me to do the same as her, which was the keep moving forward. 2 months now, after that conversation, she unblocks me on social media with no other actions taken. No text or friend request sent. I don’t really know what I’m expecting or hoping for to be honest. The relationship ended because of how frequent the fighting was and how there was no actions that I could take to help decrease their frequency or severity. I guess I just want to hear from her about why she thinks our relationship soured.

Hi Deep Blue, sorry to jump in here and throw in my two cents - I’ve followed your story here and I sympathize so much.  Similarly during the discard times of my relationship with my ex, I felt like you - wanting to know what happened (from his point of view) - I think I was searching for closure more than anything.  But I can say from my experience I never got anything satisfactory from him - he would always spin and dodge the main issues, be in denial or spew a kind of vague word salad sort of philosophizing soapbox speech as though he were imparting wisdom for all life, rather than addressing the specific issues relevant to him and me.  Skirting the issues.  Dodging them.  Never directly answering lest he’d feel backed into a corner.  It got tiring and frustrating. And of course gave me no closure.  When I finally broke things off, took back my own control, and went NC for a while, I was able to start the healing process.  I may in fact slowly be gaining my own satisfactory closing, and I don’t care anymore what stories he tells himself about our end or even our relationship.  I think it feels a lot better now.  Hang in there.  Wishing you strength and peace.