BPDFamily.com

Continuation of my previous posts.

My wife has been bothering me to send a picture of our (now my) dog since December. She gave me the dog, and the lawyer agrees that it's mine, but she regrets the way she treated me and her (the dog). I think she feels guilty that she abused it when dysregulated and in dissociative states and wanted to give it away.

Anyways, the course of action that me and my lawyer and therapist agreed on was to send ONE picture so she knows the dog is okay and then set a boundary. I sent her one, of the dog at the beach, which triggered a barrage of messages that the dog looks unhealthy, has gained weight (she always accused me of underfeeding it, which of course I wasn't), etc. I told her the dog is fine and I'm not comfortable discussing further. She tried once more, her accusing me of being insensitive, etc. I just stood my ground and said "I am not comfortable discussing it further. How was your day?"

To my complete shock, she respected my boundary and proceeded to tell me about her day etc.

This makes 3 times I've enforced boundaries with her in the last 2 days, each time expecting a major blow up and instead getting an easily snuffed out whimper.

Am I on the right track? Any thoughts? Just wanted to share some success :)

I'm rooting for you, buddy!

Thank you! Couldn't do it without everyone here