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Title: Young adult daughter bpd need advice Post by: Daniela rossi on February 18, 2022, 09:39:31 PM I’m not sure if my daughter suffers from bad but everything I read and she has read we both agree. I feel like I’m not doing her justice because I tend to give in to things and feel she has a way of making me feel bad. If I try to talk to her about certain things like she hasn’t worked in a while and asks me for money which I don’t really have but continue to give because I feel bad or I want to make her happy she has a lot of anger towards her dad and with myself although not as much. I want her to be happy but I don’t know how to help her. Her dad always said she was dramatic and trying to get attention but I knew she truly didnt want to feel the way she did but had no control so I tried to understand but did I hurt her Was her father right that I spoiled her I’m very confused
Title: Re: Young adult daughter bpd need advice Post by: kells76 on March 07, 2022, 10:12:18 AM Hello Daniela rossi, welcome to the group :hi:
The first thing that stood out to me from your post was this: Excerpt I’m not sure if my daughter suffers from bpd but everything I read and she has read we both agree This struck me as a positive start -- that your D would have some acceptance that BPD may describe what she's going through, AND that you both can be on the same page about it. Is that still the case today -- that your D accepts that she may have BPD? Excerpt I tend to give in to things and feel she has a way of making me feel bad. You're not alone -- this is a common way for people to try to cope with pwBPD (people with BPD) in their lives. I think I remember a comment somewhere that "how can you tell that you were interacting with someone with a PD? If YOU walk away from the interaction confused, guilty, unsure, etc". Excerpt I want her to be happy but I don’t know how to help her. That's an important insight for you to have, and connects to a big question for so many parents on this board: What does it look like to really help my adult child with BPD? I hear you talking about money being a stressor between you and your D. Can you tell us more about that? Does she have an "expectation" or "entitlement" to money from you? What do you think she would do if you decided to help her less and less, gradually, with money? ... Feel free to reply whenever works best for you, Daniela rossi; we're glad you reached out. Cheers; kells76 |