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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Newyoungfather on March 22, 2022, 08:51:42 AM



Title: BPD ex divorce new husband after 16 months, what should I expect?
Post by: Newyoungfather on March 22, 2022, 08:51:42 AM
Hello Friends,
For the past 8 months I learned from my son that his step dad no longer lives with exbpd.  During our separation ex moved on quickly to her "knight in shinning armor".  I remember how she would always show him off and talk him up during our co parenting counseling sessions.  He has also participated in some of her child alienation tactics as well.  A few days ago I learned that the divorce is official and almost finalized.  Lately I've noticed her breaking the rules of our custody agreement, my attorney told me she could be held in contempt of court in 3 different ways for her actions in just one day.  My question for everyone is what should I expect, is there going to be a new guy lined up already, is she going to be nasty and file false allegations of abuse to get more time with my son, is she going to try to get back with me?  What have other people seen that been through this?


Title: Re: BPD ex divorce new husband after 16 months, what should I expect?
Post by: Mommeredith81 on March 22, 2022, 08:58:35 PM
New guy? It's possible she already has one. As for allegations - does she generally do that when triggered? Definitely keep documenting with your lawyer. It sounds like you're smart and know how to keep tabs on things and be ready. I also can tell you're worried and that's legit. If the ex participated in the alienation, you should have a little celebration party that he's gone, although I'm sure you're worried about the next guy.


Title: Re: BPD ex divorce new husband after 16 months, what should I expect?
Post by: Newyoungfather on March 23, 2022, 07:30:03 PM
She usually deregulates by thinking the world is out to get her and makes insane allegations.  She paints me black/white about every 3 months, there are months that we can coparent and then the next I am the worse parent in her mind.  She has even accused the teacher of mistreating our son (all documented).  Honestly speaking I am afraid she is going to "play" me, she knew how hard it was for me to break up with her and file for custody, I'm afraid that she will try to get back with me and I will fall for the "I changed over the years and ask for a second chance".  I am reminding myself lately of our the reasons I broke up with her in the first, one of them is her inability to accept responsibility and get mental help.  In the end we are all human and have feelings so I'm processing on how/what I feel, how my son feels not being around the ex step dad and how I can make sure the next step is in the best interest of our son, rather than the individual perspectives.