|
Title: How do you deal with loneliness after Break-up? Post by: finallyout on March 25, 2022, 04:55:28 AM Hi all, :hug:
I broke up with my BPD ex-gf 2,5 months ago. We have a 2 yo child together. Logistically, things are getting better for me. I found a new place, and I am getting on with my life. The relationship to my ex is still problematic, as we are now discussing how we could work together to raise our child, despite the fact that we are living in 2 different households. The good thing is that we are getting support from a therapist, who is specialized in helping parents who are newly separated. The bad thing, is that my ex tries always to use my kid against me. But I hope that this would get better with time. Or maybe not? Anyway, the thing is that I feel terribly lonely. I hate the evening. I spend the whole day working and in the evening I go somewhere to sit and watch people passing by. I have a couple of friends where I live, but I have the feeling that I need to be with people 24/7 to not die from loneliness! How can I ease the pain of loneliness? How did you deal with that? Shall I start dating again? I'd really appreciate any support! Thanks! Title: Re: How do you deal with loneliness after Break-up? Post by: LaRonge on March 25, 2022, 09:55:33 AM Anyway, the thing is that I feel terribly lonely. I hate the evening. I spend the whole day working and in the evening I go somewhere to sit and watch people passing by. I have a couple of friends where I live, but I have the feeling that I need to be with people 24/7 to not die from loneliness! How can I ease the pain of loneliness? How did you deal with that? Shall I start dating again? I'd really appreciate any support! Thanks! The loneliness is so tough. Especially because it feels as though anyone who hasn't been through the grinder of a relationship like this doesn't really understand what you're going through. I found that at first I tried to make plans with anyone I could, and especially people who would be willing to talk. Once I maxed out on that (friends can only handle some much wallowing), I tried to just make any plan I could so that I wouldn't be alone. I joined a local running group, which was a good way to do something healthy and meet new people. It was tough to socialize with strangers, but it helped. I also started making plans for a week or more down the road, so that I always had things to look forward to. Eventually, though, I became less afraid to spend nights alone, and even started to enjoy them, despite the rumination. None of this is easy, but finding the right balance of social time and alone time made the situation more tolerable for me. I'm almost two months out and starting to feel better day to day, with rough patches, and feeling more optimistic about the future. Good luck! Title: Re: How do you deal with loneliness after Break-up? Post by: NotAHero on March 25, 2022, 10:23:07 AM Hi all, :hug: I broke up with my BPD ex-gf 2,5 months ago. We have a 2 yo child together. Logistically, things are getting better for me. I found a new place, and I am getting on with my life. The relationship to my ex is still problematic, as we are now discussing how we could work together to raise our child, despite the fact that we are living in 2 different households. The good thing is that we are getting support from a therapist, who is specialized in helping parents who are newly separated. The bad thing, is that my ex tries always to use my kid against me. But I hope that this would get better with time. Or maybe not? Anyway, the thing is that I feel terribly lonely. I hate the evening. I spend the whole day working and in the evening I go somewhere to sit and watch people passing by. I have a couple of friends where I live, but I have the feeling that I need to be with people 24/7 to not die from loneliness! How can I ease the pain of loneliness? How did you deal with that? Shall I start dating again? I'd really appreciate any support! Thanks! It’s normal to feel that way after being enmeshed with someone. As long as you are making progress and it feels less bad everyday then you are on the right track. |