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Title: My ex is actively using a dating app while with new supply Post by: harbinger70 on March 28, 2022, 11:36:58 PM Some of you may have read/responded to my first post on here about my (highly-suspected) undiagnosed ex-girlfriend with BPD. After discussing the short relationship at length with my therapist, as well as with friends who have advanced graduate degrees and certifications in behavioral analysis, EVERYONE said the same thing - "Sounds like a case-study in BPD."
It's been over five months since I was abruptly discarded and painted black. She up and left one morning and simply said "I don't see a future with you," among other randomly insulting things (asking for her advice on the right bleach for cleaning my bathtub was, honest to God, one of her reasons for dumping me after telling me she wanted to have a family with me). Within a week and a half later, she was dating someone else. They are still dating to this day. It crushed me, and I have a strong feeling she was monkey-branching (I saw her texting someone around 3 AM one morning in bed with me... who could that have been?). So, after taking time to heal and try to move on... I decided to move forward and started going back on dating apps. Yes, the same online dating apps that led me to my ex. Long story short, one day, I was on Match.com and guess who I see is "Online Now!" --- my ex! A week later, she was on again -- around 3 AM (Match tells you when someone is online, and will tell you how many hours ago... I did the math, it was around 3 AM). Likely while her boyfriend was asleep beside her. This was the first time I really felt like my heart let go of her. I realized she's doing it again - everything on social media with her new supply appears amazing and lovey-dovey... and meanwhile, she's actively using a dating app. I dodged a bullet. Has anyone else ever experienced something similar? Title: Re: My ex is actively using a dating app while with new supply Post by: NotAHero on March 28, 2022, 11:48:37 PM Some of you may have read/responded to my first post on here about my (highly-suspected) undiagnosed ex-girlfriend with BPD. After discussing the short relationship at length with my therapist, as well as with friends who have advanced graduate degrees and certifications in behavioral analysis, EVERYONE said the same thing - "Sounds like a case-study in BPD." It's been over five months since I was abruptly discarded and painted black. She up and left one morning and simply said "I don't see a future with you," among other randomly insulting things (asking for her advice on the right bleach for cleaning my bathtub was, honest to God, one of her reasons for dumping me after telling me she wanted to have a family with me). Within a week and a half later, she was dating someone else. They are still dating to this day. It crushed me, and I have a strong feeling she was monkey-branching (I saw her texting someone around 3 AM one morning in bed with me... who could that have been?). So, after taking time to heal and try to move on... I decided to move forward and started going back on dating apps. Yes, the same online dating apps that led me to my ex. Long story short, one day, I was on Match.com and guess who I see is "Online Now!" --- my ex! A week later, she was on again -- around 3 AM (Match tells you when someone is online, and will tell you how many hours ago... I did the math, it was around 3 AM). Likely while her boyfriend was asleep beside her. This was the first time I really felt like my heart let go of her. I realized she's doing it again - everything on social media with her new supply appears amazing and lovey-dovey... and meanwhile, she's actively using a dating app. I dodged a bullet. Has anyone else ever experienced something similar? They never really commit or form real bonds. It only exists on the surface. They are not wired to form healthy bonds or healthy ways to generate oxytocin- the bonding hormone. |