BPDFamily.com

Some of you might still remember my ill-fated romance with the possibly-BPD, possibly-narcissist pianist (the one I got into after the breakup from my BPD ex-boyfriend).

Well, the pianist discarded me late last year, and has since made some rather hilarious h00ver attempts which I wanted to share.

He had a habit of flaking out on our dates, often at the very last minute. After the seventh or eighth cancellation in a row for the most bizarre of reasons (everything from bleeding gums to the alleged death of his "beloved great-grandmother" whom he had never mentioned), I told him that I needed to be around people who treated me like a human being and who were honest with me. He threw a tantrum about how I could dare accuse him of feigning his "beloved grandmother's death" (note that two sentences ago she was his great-grandmother), that he had really been looking forward to our date etc. (classic narc guilt trip). I didn't reply anything to that, I was done.

A month later he sent a message, some Saturday in the early afternoon: "Offer to reconcile: Dinner at my place tonight, the bolognese sauce is already cooking... hope you're well!"

I was sick when I read it. I knew immediately what had happened. Most likely his Saturday night date, whoever it might have been, had cancelled on him and he was going through his roster of replacements. Of course I didn't reply.

He wrote again the same night: "So, what's up? I'd like to eat in around an hour." The nerve!

I didn't reply.

One hour later: "I'll take that as a no, then. If you change your mind, my bolognese sauce is even better the next day"

I didn't reply, because as tempting and flattering it is to a lady to be offered literal leftovers from a self-absorbed man-child who will wreck your life, I had regained a shred of self-esteem by that point.

After a couple of days, I don't know why, I texted him: "Offer to reconcile: You come over reliably and behave like a normal human being"

He responded instantly: "I can come over reliably, but I make no promises about behaving like a normal human being"

And since I obviously ignored this with a massive eyeroll, he added later: "But I can try"

Not good enough. I didn't reply.

At this point I should mention that he never once apologised for anything. Not for his mistreatment of me, not for any of the times he'd stood me up. Even in the early days it had been a nightmare. He once had me wait for him for the better part of an hour at a boring train station in the middle of nowhere. When he finally turned up, he was bemused: "You seem... a little annoyed?" "We were supposed to meet more than half an hour ago." "But the train left just before I could get to it! It wasn't my fault!" He then guilt-tripped me about being annoyed.

Honestly, I should have run for the hills there and then. What an ass.

But I digress. After some days of my radio silence, he started sending me some weird and unfunny memes (arguably one of the worst crimes you can commit as a millennial lol). Also some links to political material which he liked and he'd know I didn't (he was a woke champagne socialist, I'm conservative). Of course I didn't reply to that, either. He eventually sent me this zinger:

"hey you, I'm still waiting for an invitation from you to which I then could reliably react..."

I mean, you can't make this stuff up.

He kept sending messages every few weeks saying nothing in particular. Nothing about his appalling behaviour, all in the light-hearted tone of a classmate trying to reconnect.  :cursing: that.

In the meantime, I had been posting on social media, and since I'm slowly getting my life back on track, there was a good picture of me in Italy, being confident and happy. (We initially got together when I was in a really good place in life, too – he really liked how I had all my affairs in order back then.)

When I got back from my trip, there was a small package in my post box. He had wrapped up a book I had lent him and accompanied it with a postcard which read:


Well... there won't be a next time, that's for bloody sure.

I hope that's the last I ever hear of that bugger.

Unfortunately the priceless historical musical instrument he lent me is still at my flat, but if he ever wants to collect it, I'll make sure some shirtless beau will be there to hand it over, and not I.

That's it for today, thanks for listening and do tune in next time for Sappho's Idiot Parade at 12PM GMT, only on FM BPDFamily.

Sappho, a pleasure to hear from you as always. However, dear please do me a solid...quit bagging on yourself. You are not an idiot. Yes I understood the humor and found you to be quite entertaining.  |iiii :wee: Just making a point...you are not an idiot. Do try to stay away from putting yourself in that light. Do that for me and we're good.

Happy to hear you have slayed this dragon. Kudos to you.

Cheers and best wishes! #bropound

-SC-

Nice to see you, SinisterComplex :) It seems the crowd from last summer has since dispersed. I hope it's because they're all better now, not worse.

And not to worry, with "Idiot Parade" I mean the man in question, not myself. I feel I've been doing some collecting by now  lol Thank you for the encouragement nonetheless.

Hope you have been well!

I wasn't part of that crowd, but have been here for years.  I enjoyed your story though. 

My own posts ebb and flow with how much craziness BPDxw is causing in my own life... so sometimes I'm not around as much.

You should have  gone over and tried the bolognese sauce, after he claimed it was better on day 2.

then, keeping your coat and shoes on, taste a little, make a face and  stand up, saying  "AWFUL.  If it's better the second day, I can't imagine day one."  then got up and left without a word and never responded to him  again. 

Pete, dare I say that was "Sinister" ;-)   lol :) *) |iiii

Sappho, I am doing fairly well. This is like a nice hobby for me because I get to help people and empower them. Its more or less an extension of what I do in the real world. LOL. Train, teach, lead, etc. I do enjoy seeing the growth in members here who put in the work and end up doing better. From where you started to now...I think you are doing quite well and you are on a positive trajectory.

Cheers and best wishes to you!

-SC-