BPDFamily.com

Hi been friends with My partner a long time, Then we thought we try and go for a realationship together. it lasted 7 months from a fun and caring realationship to me constantly changing myself, walking on eggshell of not to say the wrong, Over Christmas his behaviour became dangerous to me and my children, and he was physically  abusive as threatening my life infront of my children. then he didnt even what happened or why it was wrong to do it from that and we spoke as friend because I guessed something wasn't OK with him during our realationship so I continued to also be there for him he went to his gp and had a diagnosis of emotional/ personality disorder complex. I can never say anything without him taking it badly, he's untreated and gies through I love you but hate you, I've been called every name possible and has made me doubt my own self and he can never see the whole of everything it's only ever black and white, digs and sarcasm and gets upset if I'm not available when he thinks I should be and I have 2 children and not brilliant physical health and spend  a fair amount in hospital and now I've got to a point I'm now at a loss and feel confused, he started antidepressants but within 4 weeks thought he would stop them and learn about his illness himself but I'm not sure if he is actively seeking help like he said or not and I'm emotionally exhausted he wants us to start again but it's like he doesn't even see me as a person or that I have my own needs and boundaries but i feel like I'm in the wrong for wanting some and some days I see he is trying other days the angry outbursts are there and he can be angry at me for something that happened at work, I don't know how to help or what to do, I would like some help and advice has anyone felt like this or been in a similar position and advice how to improve it overall

Thank you for listening.

Your account of his behavior is classic BPD. When relationships become more intimate, that’s when these types of behaviors manifest. It’s unlikely your relationship will return to the way it was when you were just friends.

Take a look at the Tools at the top of the page. Ask yourself to deeply reflect upon whether rekindling this relationship is something you want to do.

Welcome Kaytee, you are in the right place in these forums but you sound very uncertain, and you are right to feel that way. If you and your children have been physically abused and threatened with worse, that is pretty serious. There is no magic way that behavior will disappear, and it may very possibly get worse. Your priority needs to be protecting yourself and your kids.