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Title: The message I wanna send BUT wont Post by: Silverdash on April 23, 2022, 10:55:26 AM "Hey ABC.Im in your area tonight if you fancy meeting for a catch up?No pressure if youve plans.I hope life is good atm.Take care Silverdash x"
I have been NC for a few days. I am feeling a strong urge to text. I will be in his area 2nite, socializing with other people. Trying to stay strong for my own good! Title: Re: The message I wanna send BUT wont Post by: tina7868 on April 23, 2022, 11:03:38 AM Great idea posting here instead :) Enjoy yourself when you go out!
Title: Re: The message I wanna send BUT wont Post by: judee on April 23, 2022, 11:29:45 AM Feel free to post it 6 times more here... :)as long as you keeps you from sending it to him. I have had about 325 texts and a handfull of long letters in my head I never sent him. In a few weeks you will be SO happy you didn't, believe me.
Title: Re: The message I wanna send BUT wont Post by: formflier on April 24, 2022, 06:02:40 AM How did it go? Still NC? Best, FF Title: Re: The message I wanna send BUT wont Post by: Silverdash on April 24, 2022, 05:46:47 PM I broke NC :( He suggested we meet during the week cos he was not around. I told him Im busy n need to check my diary. He left me on read for a few hours, Id say this may have annoyed him not feeling prioritized. Tg I was busy with friends and didnot see 'on read' until I returned home. I checked my diary and told him a few diff dates Id be free. He immediately replied choosing the soonest. 2moro we will meet for hot choc and a walk.
Now I feel frustrated that I rolled over so easily on my self. I dont even know what I am hoping to achieve by seeing him. Is it a losing game? Why am I trying to prove to my self that I am 'worthy' of his friendship...perhaps because I was not 'worthy' of any thing more? Title: Re: The message I wanna send BUT wont Post by: tina7868 on April 24, 2022, 06:49:44 PM I remember you had written this in another discussion :
Excerpt If I break this streak, I'll restart it. I remember it because I like the attitude it entails! Don't be hard on yourself for breaking NC. I think what could be useful is exploring your motivation in replying, and I mean really getting to the bottom of things in an honest way. What was your state of mind when you replied? Would you say it was impulsive? What were you doing right before? I feel like exploring these types of questions can help determine whether there is a pattern or trigger behind when you reach out to him. Remember to be empathetic with yourself, you're human! As for what you want to achieve by seeing him, that's also an excellent question to reflect on. What are your thoughts? Excerpt Why am I trying to prove to my self that I am 'worthy' of his friendship...perhaps because I was not 'worthy' of any thing more? I really feel you on this! What I've learned (and still need to remind myself of) is that placing your worthiness in someone outside yourself is giving your power away. This is especially true when that someone has BPD, since their feelings towards you will oscillate. That is a losing game! Your sense of worth comes from you. What you feel about yourself is what matters. |