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Title: Lost Post by: Confused37 on May 04, 2022, 07:28:29 PM Have been in current relationship for what will be 4 years. Was love bombed in the beginning and became totally enraptured by my significant others personality, the way he understood me, and felt I could be myself. With a few mistakes I made I became the “enemy” to He and his immediate family. No apologies could make up for not “loving him when he needed to be loved.” Quick background - Three young kids (mine), two additional kids (his) healthcare provider, breadwinner during a world wide pandemic. Can give say stress and juggling. He attempted to leave three times only to recoil. . To which after the third and a suicide attempt I said something has to change (he needed to see someone) . This clearly had been a pattern after learning his history in intimate relationships and seeing how he and his family. None lasted 2-3 years without some kind of upheaval. Drinking became worse, nasty comments grew more spiteful , resentment skyrocketed and his psychologist (newly dx him with BPD) has now become his favorite person. Love him immensely but when will enough be enough (he knows by now all my weaknesses and uses them against me)? I am a naturally happy person - he is not. He is (I think) trying but how to see through the truth vs bs when a trait is bpd sufferers can’t decide nor can rationalize? Stuck in limbo and lost…nothing appears to help. What approached have worked with others (while preserving your own boundaries)?
Title: Re: Lost Post by: Cat Familiar on May 05, 2022, 11:47:23 AM Unfortunately you cannot change him, but you can change how you respond to him, and that can potentially calm things to a degree. Take a look at the Tools at the top of the page and tell us more about how you got together, when things started going awry, and what seems to trigger him now.
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