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On Mother's Day I received this text from a friend in my Book Club; a "quote" from Cheryl Strayed, who is an author.

There are so many kinds of mother. The mothers you cherish and celebrate. The mothers who were never really there. The mothers who broke you. Who built you. The mothers who cheered you on. Who chipped away at you until you were dust.
The mothers who reveled in your astonishing intelligence and grace and power. Who saw only their light. The mothers who die painfully young. The mothers who lived so long you felt yourself disintegrating with them. Petal by wilted petal.
The mothers who shined. Who dimmed. Who did their best. Who disappointed.  Who redeemed themselves. Who zigged and zagged. The mothers who were a beacon. The mothers you never knew. The mothers who sewed themselves into the quilt you became. The mothers who couldn't bear to tell the truth. The mothers who were brave.
The mothers who didn't know who they were without you. Who never saw you no matter how wildly you waved. The mothers you call. The mothers you no longer speak to. The mothers who take you for granted. Or treasure. The dead mothers. The mothers you have to search for and carry.
The mothers like a limb. The mothers like a mirror. The mothers like a flame. The mothers you wish. The mothers you ache. The mothers you echo. The mothers you wanted to be. The mothers you became. I am thinking of you. I am holding you all.

Like I said in my topic line, powerful and poignant. Sending hugs to all of you.

Thank you. So powerful, meaningful, and true. We all lose when we cling to narratives that everybody with a certain title is the same. Not all clergy members are good people, as we learned with the sexual abuse of so many young boys in the catholic church. There are a wide range of types of mothers, and so many of us on PSI have been told to worship our mothers, when we were abused. Maybe on future Mother's Days, there can be more discussion and education about healthy mothering and how to support people who never had a mother who loved them. I saw one interesting article about a single gay father who had consulted the school principal about how to address the practice of children making gifts for their mothers for Mother's Day.

madeline7,

Thank you for sharing that. It puts into words what we need as an adult child of a BPD parent. We could send ourselves that in a card for Mother's Day each year, just for us!

 :heart:
Wools

That was beautiful.  I thought: "one person outside our forum who gets it"!

Her quote is a keeper. 

This is SO good! Cheryl Strayed is an author that I really love...but I'd never read this. I wish more people recognized and normalized the complexities of Mothers. Thank you for sharing.  :heart: