BPDFamily.com

My ex is undiagnosed with BPD but I believe she has it based on everything I have been reading as well as her step dad telling me about her abandonment issues.

I wish I could turn this relationship around but I didn't realize she had a personality disorder and start reading about it till it was too late. I made many mistakes.

The Friday before mothers day at her request I returned her things to her in person and asked her to come over for dinner that night. She said maybe and then later texted me she was too busy with work. The next day she knew I had plans and reached out saying she didn't realize it was Saturday night, what were my plans, she would like to go out for drinks. I changed my plans for her, included her and took her out with my friend letting him third wheel. Big mistake.

She was cold and distant the whole night and when my friend went to go talk to some girls at the end of the night I tried to put my arm around her. She got up and went to the bathroom. I joined my friend in talking to said girls and when she got back from the bathroom she was furious and I went chasing after her. By this time the bar was nearly closing and we were all pretty drunk.

My friend went a different way...she reluctantly got in an Uber with me and wouldn't talk to me at all about why she was mad. I got her home safely. The next morning I kind of blew up her phone wanting to see her that night and she said "not tonight I have a flight tomorrow". She called me that night after her mothers day stuff and I kept the conversation very short but got her to agree to call me when she got back in town and we would hang out on Wed or Thurs.

By Thurs around 6pm I realized she was blowing me off and I asked her to call me when she had a minute. When she called I asked her if I could pick up some of my things I needed and she said she couldn't that night because she was late to go to dinner. After we got off the phone she texted me if I could get them on Saturday and I insisted I get them the next day, Friday. She was very mad about this and had her mom and friend waiting with my things when I went to pick them up. In the text exchange she was very cold and saying she didn't care to see me.

After getting them I texted her thank you, got em. She told me I was weird and rude on the phone when I made the request and that I went from wanting to hang to being rude to her. I told her I hate texting and was not trying to be rude and to let me know when she was free and I would set up a date. She told me "that's ok". I didn't respond.

The next day she messaged me about me not grabbing a charger to go with the drill I had gotten back. I told her I wouldn't need the charger my brother had an extra but thank you and good luck with something she was working on. She wrote me back 8 hours later and said Okay Thank You.

Then 2 days later (Monday) she wrote me and asked me what I wanted her to do with my spare garage door opener I had given her for my building. This hurt my feelings and I realized she was truly done with me and so I wrote her back and said "Can it wait till you gather all my stuff and I will just get it all at once?" Then the silent treatment began, it has been one week of no contact and I miss her greatly. I don't know what to do or think any advice would be greatly appreciated.

As I read through this post, it became clear that there is a consistent power struggle between the two of you. That’s difficult in a relationship with an emotionally healthy person, but incredibly toxic with a BPD partner. If you want to resurrect this relationship, you will need to take the high road and give her feelings a wide berth. Take a look at the Tools section at the top of the page.

Just a comment from a random female on the web: I’d rather forego a date rather than going out with a boyfriend and his buddy. And to leave to go to the restroom and find my “boyfriend” chatting up a group of women. OMG red-flag red-flag red-flag red-flag