BPDFamily.com

Our counselor has suggested my wife has BPD (to me, not to her).  I've read the book "walking on Eggshells" and some other articles, taken tests online "does this person have BPD", etc. and in almost every case she has been at the low end of scoring as a borderline.  She's very verbal, emotional, funny, and delightful in so many ways but also carries a great deal of anger from her past (parental abandonment and health issues, abusive ex spouses, etc...) that comes out explosively when one of her many triggers is stepped on, usually unknowingly.  Numerous friends, some family members, and now one of my kids (her stepson) have gone by the wayside for offending her.  At the same time she doesn't exhibit any of the self abuse or destructive, excessive behavior that also seem to be be the hallmark of many.  I love her so much and want to stay with her, but also want to try to find ways to make our lives more manageable and stop pressing the triggers.  So my question is, is it possible to be "borderline" borderline?  BDP lite? In other words, to have some of the characteristics and causes but be at the low end of the scale?  In asking this I'm assuming that BDP is a scale like the Autism spectrum, but perhaps that is not the case - I just haven't seen anything addressing this question in what I've read, most of which seems to suggest wither you have it or you don't.  I'd be interested to hear what others have to say.
Thanks for listening.

BPD is considered to be on a spectrum and for the most part, members here are dealing with sub-clinical (BPDLite to use your words).

But what does that mean?

If has to do with level of dysfunction in life. It sounds like your wife has not gone off the deep end.

The tools are the same for dealing with it. The likelihood of success is greater with sub-clinical cases.  Its important to remember that it is a deep rooted thinking process and its not going to go away. You have a special needs person in your life.