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Title: Big guilt trip every time I go golfing with friend Post by: guitarguy09 on July 17, 2022, 01:33:40 PM I have a friend who I like to golf with. He likes to get me out on the course a handful of times a year (or as my w says, "all the time in the summer"). Every time he wants to schedule golf with me, I try to say yes because the summers are only so long here before the cold, etc. I also make the only income in the family. So whenever I schedule golf, doesn't matter if my family has plans (we don't when I schedule it), she gives me this big guilt trip about being gone the whole day and having to think of things to do with the kids while I'm gone. I don't feel like it's fair that I can't go golfing every few weeks or so without a massive guilt trip. Any one else experience this? I also don't have much of a social life outside of the family.
Title: Re: Big guilt trip every time I go golfing with friend Post by: Cat Familiar on July 17, 2022, 03:38:02 PM How long do you listen to her *guilt trip*?
Title: Re: Big guilt trip every time I go golfing with friend Post by: waverider on July 17, 2022, 06:32:55 PM She can attempt to give you a guilt trip, but its your insecurity that causes your guilt. This is all part and parcel of a BPD relationship you just have to toughen your way through it, just make sure you have realistic (your realism not BPD realism) expectations.
These outings are reasonable and you will have to be strong enough to make them become your norm. Curtailing your life to BPD permitted activities will see you giving most of your life away Title: Re: Big guilt trip every time I go golfing with friend Post by: guitarguy09 on July 18, 2022, 06:10:16 PM How long do you listen to her *guilt trip*? [/quot e] Only a little while. I dread having to tell her each time but I have gone 4 times this year and will go tomorrow. Title: Re: Big guilt trip every time I go golfing with friend Post by: guitarguy09 on July 18, 2022, 06:11:09 PM She can attempt to give you a guilt trip, but its your insecurity that causes your guilt. This is all part and parcel of a BPD relationship you just have to toughen your way through it, just make sure you have realistic (your realism not BPD realism) expectations. These outings are reasonable and you will have to be strong enough to make them become your norm. Curtailing your life to BPD permitted activities will see you giving most of your life away That is a very good piece of advice. I am trying to stay to my realistic point of view. If it were up to her I'd never leave the house! Haha. |