BPDFamily.com

 :help:Hello, everyone. I recently got broken up with my GF that felt trapped in our healthy relationship of almost 2 and a half years. She stated that she wanted to hook up with other people that weren't me. I knew that before we got together she used to hook up with people to numb herself. She used sex as a way of self-harming. She had not been officially diagnosed with BPD by a professional but the first counselor that she went to mentioned that this is what she had due to the trauma she had gone through in her childhood. At the beginning of our relationship, she showered me with love, attention, and affection. I thought it was normal and how she was going to be throughout our relationship. Sadly about halfway through our relationship, I began to feel her slowly show me less affection and give me attention like she used to. At first, she said that it was probably due to her being comfortable with me and that she did not feel insecure that I was going to leave her anymore. This really hurt me and I kinda just got used to it. As of recently, she started to want to hook up with other people as a couple, yet I had never brought up that I was even interested in it. When she broke up with me I felt like she was bored of me and our relationship because it was actually very healthy unlike the beginning of our relationship. After talking to my therapist, she brought up how her actions and her feeling were most likely due to her BPD. Right now I am just trying to make sense of the break-up and not take it too personally. One of the last times that we spoke to each other was when she said that she realized that the relationship was not what was making her sad, it was just herself that was sad. She said she feels bad that she just hates herself more than she loved me. I wish the best for her and hope she gets the treatment she needs. Right now I am trying to not take how she felt at the end too personally because I know that however, she felt it has more to do with her and her BPD than me and anything I did.