BPDFamily.com

Question...close to every time that things are going well, my undiagnosed BPD husband mentions that when this or that  (ie. an event, a birthday party, returning from a trip, a holiday, etc.) is done, we need to talk divorce.  It throws me off every time, since things are going so well in the moment.  My therapist has said to ignore it and state that this is not what I currently want, and that we can revisit this after he seeks therapy, and then to walk away.  I have done that in the past.  This past time, I told him, ok, but that I didn't understand why he would mention such a thing when we are having a good moment.  He told me he wouldn't be with someone who "cheated on him" a lot of times, etc.  I told him that I was sick of hearing this, that that was not who I was, I never have and never will do that and that I didn't want to hear that again.  I then walked off with my young daughter, chatting with her and laughing.  Less than 5 minutes later, he was back in a good mood, interacting with me and the kids, offering to take the kids different places, paying for things for my kids and talking about changes he wanted to make to the house now and years down the road.  I get thrown off every time.  Of course I don't want to get a divorce, though I know it is always a possibility.  I have been told this a lot of times by him.  Does this give him some sort of gratification?  Why does he say such things when things are going really well, and continue being in a happy mood after?

Could it be that he says such things to get you to say that you want to be with him? Seems like a very convoluted way to get some positive feedback.  :(

That was my thought, that maybe he says this to me since he doesn't want the good to end, so he is looking for reinforcement that I am not planning on leaving him?