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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: CSgt. Bourne on September 14, 2022, 08:26:47 AM



Title: Proving BPD in court
Post by: CSgt. Bourne on September 14, 2022, 08:26:47 AM
Hello, this my first post.  My ex wife has BPD.  I lived without knowing for 14 years.  About 5 years ago I found a note book where she stated ..."I know that he will leave me one day and now I have this label of borderline personality disorder to deal with".  I ignored this, thinking 'borderline' means it's not serious.  We are now divorced and I am really concerned for my children.  She wants to keep them in a developing country.  I have a photo of her note book, will this be proof in court?


Title: Re: Proving BPD in court
Post by: Mommydoc on September 14, 2022, 08:43:00 AM
I am not a lawyer, but doubt the photo of her notebook will prove  BPD  and it may raise a different set of issues for you. My suggestion would be not to focus on “proving” the diagnosis for the purpose of custody, but rather clear documentation of at risk behaviors. Are there events/ behaviors that might put your children at risk that are recurrent and have also been witnessed by neutral parties?


Title: Re: Proving BPD in court
Post by: CSgt. Bourne on September 14, 2022, 06:05:23 PM
As most people who suffer, I never went to a doctor or the police.  On many occasions I was punched and threatened with a knife.  Once during an episode of uncontrollable rage I was punched several times, I held her wrists in self defence and was bitten hard on the pectoral muscle, but I have no evidence.  Recently, during another episode, I was comforting my children, 3 & 6, I had one in each arm and she physically jabbed her finger into my face.  I have no evidence. 
Once, almost 3 years ago she went to the police and told them that 6 months earlier that I had tried to strangle her.  This is was a lie.  She never followed it up and I'm sure without evidence I would have been OK, she convinced a handful of her friends and family that it was true, which was awful for me.  I did go to the police to tell them it wasn't true and informed them of her knife threats and physical abuse in the past. 
I want her in my childrens lives but I also want to protect them from learning her emotional responses.  I want custody, she can have access, lots of it but as a responsible father I can't see them live their lives with this condition