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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Zerk-exe on September 20, 2022, 06:34:30 PM



Title: Wasted three years on BDP who has a new boyfriend now
Post by: Zerk-exe on September 20, 2022, 06:34:30 PM
From 2019 to 2022 I was in a long distance relationship with someone who at that time had undiagnosed borderline.

- we started as friends with benefits because both were scared of a serious relationship thanks to no prior or only bad experiences in that regard
- she was always incredible insecure and had no self-esteem because she was discarded her whole life from everyone, family, friends, whatever so she never feelt worthy of love
- she was extremly shy during sex and didn't really open up at all during the whole three years so no PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) but she always said that she wants to open up a bit more but is too insecure about herself idk?
- she had two abortions in her life (rape and once with me cuz she wanted it bareback and welp trusted her since she said it was safe)
- she always wanted to hide our relationship from her online guy-friends who clearly were all interested and flirting with her but thanks to her low self-esteem she apparently never realised it idk
- the reason for hiding our relationship was "I dont wanna be associated with sex" but she always said that she isn't interested in a real relationship either
- she had one emotional affair with one of her guy friends for 8 months (mainly because she tried to hide the abortion, she was sure that I would drop her if i knew) so she was distant towards me for the time aswell
- she always pushed me away but when I was close to leaving her she would always cry and beg for me stay, every few months this happened
- at the end of our relationship she finally agreed to start therapy, was telling me that will always be mine, that she will finally improve her behaviour and that she wants to marry in a few years after becoming "normal"

And one month later I just got dropped - another 6 months later she started dating another guy. According to his group of friends he openly brags or talks about the following things:

- guy is openly sexist & misogynist and calls himself alpha male
- he PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) her PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) for the first two months straight ? even she herself didn't care about safety even though she was crying at me for two whole years about the previous abortions?
- if she starts being annoying he's gonna drop her on the street
- he was laughing at her for being dumb after she told him about the abortions as in would be better to use condoms now
- she apparently does moan now and sometimes even begs for his PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) (remember her being incredible shy during our three years lol)
- he made a joke about her dead mother
- he laughed after hearing about her whole "wanting to marry her ex" idea and said that he's gonna kick her out if she ever starts this with stuff with him
- said that he's just gonna PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) if she ever talks about protection or abortion again

What the hell happened to this cute innocent shy girl? What the PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)? She was always trying to push me away from her? never really committed to our relationship? never seemed that confident in the whole sex thing but with her new boyfriend? literally everything changed suddenly - she is legit a whole other person with him, how is that possible?

And yes I absolutely should not worry about her anymore but damn that guy is the biggest douchebag i've ever seen - how can she seriously love someone like that? This dude is legit the complete opposite of what this seemingly innocent person that she pretend to be would want to be with for her whole life...couldn't she at least date some guy that's actually loving and caring PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)?


Title: Re: Wasted three years on BDP who has a new boyfriend now
Post by: Skip on September 20, 2022, 08:02:00 PM
You posted on "Bettering". Are you hoping to rekindle the relationship at some point?

What did you two fight about?

What happened that caused her go to therapy and get a diagnosis?

How do you know these sexual details about her sexlife with her new boyfriend?

Let' see if we can help.


Title: Re: Wasted three years on BDP who has a new boyfriend now
Post by: Zerk-exe on September 20, 2022, 08:27:26 PM
Probably impossible.

Well she hide our relationship from her gaming buddies who all spend several hours each day with her - the game we played was fairly childish when it comes to dating but I told her several times that even her "online friends" need to know about us.

She was extremly distant while visting me for the last few times - she pushed me away, never really wanted to cuddle or have sex, well only for 1 hour a day - for the remaining 23 hours she always reacted extremly pissed when I tried to interact with her idk.

Had a talk with him - cuz he was considering to break-up with her so we both talked about our experiences with her but in the end he realised that she apparently changed with him so he's just gonna continue banging her - I know how weird it sounds but we used to have a similar group of friends for the past two/three years so I already knew him beforehand.