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Title: Sex and love addict anonymous? Post by: Couscous on October 02, 2022, 04:55:11 PM I was wondering if anyone on this board has tried SLAA? According to their list of characteristics it seems like it would be a good fit for people on this board.
https://slaafws.org/download/core-files/Characteristics-of-Sex-Love-Addiction.pdf Title: Re: Sex and love addict anonymous? Post by: arjay on October 10, 2022, 12:08:12 PM Whether some or most of the indicated characteristics apply to us, the important question is "why"? People with long-standing unresolved issues (I had some) often end-up with someone with the same level (or worse). Is it because of lack of self-worth? Lasting impact from a dysfunctional childhood? Alcoholic parents? A BPD parent?
I found "understanding" after spending several years working on myself, after the demise of the 5-year relationship/marriage to a woman with BPD (a third marriage by the way). I learned about myself; my old wounds; things that long preceeded her. It was through my own personal work, that I overcame my "need" to be a relationship; my tendency to "rescue"; to "fix", expecting that being sucessful would somehow make me feel whole, appreciated, etc. Being perfect is never a possibility, so inevitably we fall-short of expectations and are left, once again, feeling misunderstood; not valued. Understanding is the goal to not repeating mistakes; to getting outside that "movie" we play in our heads that often is as much to blame as the BPD partner we blamed. In my case my exBPDw simply exposed in me, what was already there. All the best. |