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My adult child was diagnosed 6 years ago. It has been awful ever since. I struggle with wanting to continue to support and just walking away. The damage to my own mental health is getting worse every year.
I simply don’t know what to do anymore

Hi July, welcome to the group  :hi:

So sorry you are going through this relentless stress and pain with your adult child -- even 6 years after a diagnosis, things aren't really getting better, and it's taking a toll on you.

To answer your question in your post title, will it ever get better?

I'd say, briefly, yes, it absolutely can get better. It doesn't have to be like this forever. Though, it may take some nonintuitive choices, and some determination to follow through, that might feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

This is such a core conflict for so many parents here:


How to balance those desires? After all, it's your child, your baby, and you want health for your child.

However, how can you help and support your child, if your own health is at stake?

One analogy that you'll run across here is that of being on an airplane. During the safety presentation, the flight attendant will say: First, put on your own oxygen mask. Only after that, try to help others.

It's the same idea here. We can't effectively help and support others if we're depleted, worn out, and at the end of our rope. Contrary to some messages out there, it isn't selfish to take care of ourselves first. It can be the healthiest thing for us and for others. Plus, it models appropriate responsibility -- as reasonably normal adults, we are responsible for our own health and well-being. It's a normal and OK thing for us to put ourselves first. Showing others (like adult children) that that is what we do, is modeling appropriate behavior, regardless of their response to it.

Anyway... that's a lot of general stuff in one welcome! I just want you to know that yes, there are different things you can try, different priorities to arrange, different meaning of "care" and "support" to understand, so that your life doesn't have to look like this forever. The change can start with you, and we can be here to walk alongside you as you figure out what YOU want, what YOU need, what boundaries YOU want to have, as you navigate your relationship with your child.

One brief question before I wrap up -- you mention your child receiving a diagnosis 6 years ago. How did your child respond? Accepting of the diagnosis, in treatment, or...?

Keep us in the loop on how you're doing, July;

kells76