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Title: Saying Hello Post by: bcharacter on October 19, 2022, 02:16:36 PM Been dating this girl for a year now. Love her dearly, she's always had a firey personality but I always put that down to her being latina lol.
She's in the military and we've been long distance for the last 9 months but she's back this week. I always attributed her wild outbursts to being fearful that I'd leave and that as the relationship got stronger and she felt safer they would subside. Unfortunately quite the opposite has happened. (My wishful thinking is that as she feels safer with me she's feeling able to be vulnerable and express her often wildly variable emotions). While looking for ways to de-escalate our conflicts I found out about BPD and reading the examples was like reading verbatim what is happening in our relationship. Its kind of a relief to find out there's a name for it and there's tried and tested things I can do to try to support her better. Its early days but I'm going to try, still hurts sometimes though so wanted to see what kind of support is out there for people like me. So, hi there! Title: Re: Saying Hello Post by: leedsfan1109 on October 20, 2022, 11:33:34 AM I'm new here as well. Welcome! :hi:
Title: Re: Saying Hello Post by: Rev on October 20, 2022, 04:31:51 PM Hi to both of you!
My name is Rev. You've come to really great place - lots of wisdom - ZERO judgement. I'd invite you to scope the site a bit and if and when you have questions or need to vent or whatever, then just reach out. Dealing with these kinds of relationships is a process of discovery - both about your partner and yourself at the same time. In one sense, a relationship is a relationship is a relationship ... they all have their ups and downs. In another sense, and you are both realizing, there are particular traits to them that need to be managed if they are to be successful. So, again. It's a process that goes at the pace it needs to go. Great to have you both on board with us. Welcome ! Rev Title: Re: Saying Hello Post by: SinisterComplex on October 20, 2022, 11:54:48 PM Hello and welcome to both of you as well. :hi:
To backup one of my partners in crime here...brother Rev I also urge you to peruse the site. I do believe you will find a lot of useful info and many threads that offer experiences that will answer a lot of you questions you may have. For simplicity's sake here are some links to provide starting points for education during your journey here... https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=329294.0;all Our main link for tools: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=36.0 A link I would highly urge you to start with: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=62266.0 BC, this link I think specifically will be beneficial: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=92543.0 Take your time and definitely feel free to share as much or as little as you want. As I explain to all our newcomers...the more you put in the more you will get back. Please be kind to you and take care of yourself. Cheers and best wishes! -SC- |