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I’m at the end of the devaluation cycle.  Me and my ex have been recycling the relationship for a year. The last time we saw each other I tried to set a time to set boundaries, and was optimistic about being friends. I love this person so much. She ghosted me which I have become accustomed to, and filed a restraining order, later telling me in so many words she lied, after which, she reach out to tell me she loved and cared about me. She has been making vague accusations of me being abusive, which have confused my sense of reality. I’m in the process of writing a four step on my resentments, and my behaviors. I feel so alone, and empty.  This has been escalating for three years,  along time to allow someone to terrorize me emotionally. I’ve lost my ability to care for myself. I so want to recover but to be honest I feel like dying. And have found little relief,

Hi Jobi, welcome to the forum! You are in a place where you will receive support and advice. I am so sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time and feeling so many emotions. Whatever you feel is valid, and part of your process.

Hi Jobi

My name is Rev. Thank you for reaching out and trusting the community here with your story.

Yes - the break-ups can be cruel and deflating. Do you have a support system besides this one? I found in the early days where my own ex was really volatile that my friends kept me steady. I was in pretty rough shape.

Keep reaching out. In the early days - reaching out here helped me to get my thoughts clearer and took some of the sting out of the really confusing reactions I was getting out from my ex.

We'll walk with you.

What do you think ?

Rev

It sounds like she's violating the restraining order, yes? Are you if you're responding? This sux, but we've seen this before here.