BPDFamily.com

I finally got the guts to leave after four years of on and off fighting. When times were good, they were really good, but the fights every month or so that lasted for days made me depressed and suicidal. I still love her and I'm feeling like she was right calling me all those names now for leaving. I made my decision and was in another state within three days of making up my mind to leave. I knew if I didn't just rip the bandaid off quickly she would convince me to stay again.

It's been four days, about 50 texts, a dozen calls and facetime attempts after I told her I wouldn't block her, knowing that would set her off, but I wouldn't answer her either. The texts ranged from begging me to come back, to telling me I am ruining her life and making her sicker(she has MS but is very manageable) to mundane everyday things. I'm alternating between crying and blaming myself. I know I did the right thing by leaving, but I've have had constant second thoughts.

Trauma Bond on the horizon.
Fight it.
Stay NC.

I went back after 3 months.
Still not sure it was the right thing to do.

She's in remote addiction treatment now doing DBT I believe.

Good luck.

Thanks Go. . No new contact since Tuesday night. Her normal therapy sessions are Wed. am, so I'm guessing her therapist advised her to break contact. I'm out of state, so little fear of breaking NC.

Stay the course and take care of YOU and be kind to YOU. Out of sight, out of mind.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-