BPDFamily.com

My BPD ex fiancé filed a fictitious temporary restraining order on me 18 months ago.
 I had bought a house with her and she kept asking for extensions on the temporary  restraining order while she dragged  me through court with civil claims to get money  out of me and force us to sell a home that we have bought together.  I put in 10 times more downpayment than she did and it was 50/50 on title she ended up walking away with a healthy profit.
 After continually getting extensions on the temporary restraining order we finally had a day in court two weeks ago and now the judge has up to 90 days to come up with his decision.
 Temporary Restraining order stays in effect during this time. . Today  I was at a café sitting outside minding my own business when a Sherif came and told me I had to leave because my ex had come to the café after me and called them and told them that I needed to be 1000 feet away from her so I left.
  My ex made false allegations about me in court lied in court has lied to the police lied to child protective  services criminally done witness intimidation, false identification to name a few of the card she’s pulling to control me. Lied about guns being in the house and trying to get the police to arrest me and in the end the police said they were dropping the case because she was misrepresenting the fact and she lied in front of the judge on numerous fronts and a credibility is eroding first.
  In Court lawyer asked her questions while on the stand in a way that we caught her lying under oath we had have paperwork to back it up 9 times.
 
So this is my question it looks as though she’s not going to be able to continue having a restraining order against me ,this has been 18 months of very emotionally and financially expensive hardship on my family and that’s just me and my daughter because we’re the only immigrants in the country here.

Will she stop harassing me if she doesn’t get the restraining order?

Has anyone any understanding of what she might do if I bring a law suit against  her for  malicious prosecution and involve the district attorney in her lies and expose her would it be dangerous for me and my daughter to do so?

I would like to walk away from this and hope it would go away I have never dealt with someone with borderline personality who is vengeful appears to be wrought on my destruction. It seems as though if I had a lawsuit against her she could be so tied up with that she wouldn’t be able to attack  me anymore as a sound reasoning?  Is the best defence is an offence ?

It seems completely unfair that women are in the system who actually need to be protected while mt ex has  been absorbing the courts time energy the police sherifs and child protective services all on made of allegations for almost 2 years now.

Last time I saw her before court, before she filed for a restraining order, 18 months ago she was trying to get me to come into the bedroom with her I said “I could not do that anymore” and she gestured  to the mini mansion  I had bought with her ….then ran her hands down her  body and said “don’t you want this?”

She stood 6 foot tall in stocking feet and had a commanding aspect …, I said “no” and I put my hand on my heart and “ I said I want my heart@ and she screamed at me like something from earth horror movie “you denied me !” and that’s when she went after me for in the legal realm. She was trying to live in the house for five years and have  me make all of the utilities payments and the mortgage payments and give her $200,000 she lost in court on this.

Please any advice would be helpful
Sincerely
Blueberry cat

Countersuits are very productive against borderlines as it exposes their lies and court is all about credibility. Look at Amber Heard. If you need help with this, DM me. I have some experience in this matter.

You would need documentation.  Usually "he said, she said" is viewed as hearsay and discounted.  But still, often men in many jurisdictions have an uphill struggle when facing women in court.  Women are perceived as the victim so often.  So there's no simple answer to this.

Is there a real benefit to taking her back to court?

Thank you for your input and I do understand about women being seen as victims and ‘he said she said’ .
  I would be bringing evidence to court not just hearsay.

She committed bank wire fraud by setting auto pay for
the utilities up in a home she was living in after she had restrained me from my bank account. All utilities were solely in her name and after she found the restraining order I was not able to communicate with her so there’s no way I could’ve told her this was alright.

She also contacted someone in business with me who I have a contractual arrangement with and defend me which I guess is unlawful and then had her friend tell the bookkeeper of this company that he wouldn’t he able to see her his kids anymore if he testified for me which is witness tampering.

The local police department wrote a letter saying they were dropping her case because she had lied to them.

I just don’t know if it’s safe for me to hope she’ll simmer down and go away or to prosecute her so that she’s so busy dealing with the law that she leaves me alone. ?

In my experience, you'll spend 5+ years waiting for them to "simmer down" if you don't deal with the matter; pwBPDs often have a detached concept of time, she'll be there in twenty years still making your life miserable just so she feels like she's having an impact on the world and thus validating her identity.

If you weren't already in the middle of a TRO case I would have said the first thing you do before going to court is to have your lawyer write a firm letter that you wish no further contact with her.  But it's already in the courts to resolve the current legal issues and so that ship has passed, at least for now.

Maybe once this is over your lawyer (not you!) can send her lawyer a final letter filled with legalese for her to go away and stay out of your life henceforth.

As for pursuing this in court, what does your lawyer say?  Until now it appears she can make all the demands she wants but that doesn't mean she will get it all.  She's involved others in the disputes but I get the feeling you can't (at least not easily) make her accountable for her actions.

Another day, another deficit.