BPDFamily.com

Dionysius' recent related post (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=354590.0) reminded me that DH and I have started to wonder about this, as SD16 will be 17 soon, and is finishing out high school through community college (starting next spring).

I believe the divorce decree says that DH will continue to pay CS through age 21 &/or in college (I need to dig it up to find the exact wording).

However, it doesn't say to whom CS is paid, once the child is >18.

What have other parents done, if they have CS obligations to an >18 child? Paid the kid directly? Paid the college? Depends on the kid? We are pondering putting the $ into a bank account for her every month once she turns 18. She's very financially conservative.

We would not do the same for SD14 until she turns 18 as well, just halve the CS paid to Mom once SD16 is 18.

Has anyone run into legal issues with directing legally obligated CS to the adult child, and not the other parent? Would Mom have any legal grounds to hassle us  :( ?

Hello.  When my daughter graduated High School, I had her set up her own checking and savings account and moved my child support payments to her checking account until she graduated college.  She was a very responsible child and managed her money well, graduating with a small amount of student loan debt.  If the divorce decree is not specific, I'd recommend letting the children start controlling the funds you send for child support.   My two cents worth.  CoMo

When in doubt... default to the destination you prefer.  Mother would have to take it to court if she contests it claiming the now-adult may still be living part-time in her residence.  After all, your excellent argument would be that the "child" is now an adult.  However, this is not a perfect world so... :(

I posted this on another thread but I think it's important to have a limit on what you can pay for college whether one is divorced or not and to have this discussion with the child before selecting colleges to apply to. College costs can vary. It's rare that a parent can afford "sky is the limit" for college.

For my friends who are divorced, the FAFSA was only required from the custodial parent. I'd find out what the arrangement is for the colleges your child is interested in. This may also have been because of their child support agreement?

Since students are over 18, colleges have to maintain student privacy. However, students can sign a waiver for financial information to be shared with parents. This way, you can access the account and pay the fees directly to the college. I would recommend this rather than hand a large amount of money to the child or their BPD parent. I don't know what the CS agreement is, but I think if there are records that the money went to the child's college account, that would be proof if it but that's something to ask the lawyer.

You can also access the cost of attendance for each college and decide what you can pay for.

The actual cost of colleges can vary. Each college handles FAFSA in their own way so the amount of financial aid awarded can vary between colleges. Often you don't know the actual cost until the child is accepted and they send you the financial aid award. So if your child is very interested in a certain college, they can apply- as you don't know the outcome but if there's an agreement ahead of time on what you will pay for, you can decide if it's an affordable choice or not.

I don't know of any kind of support agreement that says a parent will cover any college the child wants. That could run into some expense. Surely there's a limit to what you are obligated to. Now, if the child or mother wants to spend more- that's on them, but I think it's reasonable to have a set limit on what you will give to them for college.