BPDFamily.com

For those of you who have dealt with emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse...

do you ever just break down and feel horrible?

I'm feeling so down today and very emotional about what happened to me. I'm feeling very alone.

RD,
 First off hang in there! Yes, I have and do feel this from time to time. Abuse creates trauma and the ‘trauma bonding’ we nonBPD experience is very difficult to recover from. Things take time that is for sure. I am glad you are here and please know ‘we’ are listening.
  A problem shared is one half solved. You got this, we got this.
All the best of luck and love to you.
You are not alone.

Hi Yellowbutterfly,

Yes - I was in a psychologically abusive relationship, bad enough to do Master's level research on the topic.   It is not uncommon to feel exactly the way you do - and so I am just really wanting you to know that there are days I still feel it and then I reach out like you did and I do realize that a) it did happen to me, I didn't cause it, nor did I deserve, even if there are people who still don't really believe it happened, or forget that it did... and... b) I feel like this because, well, I am a human being who has the capacity to care and so what she did, BPD or not, really did hurt.

Hang in there.

Reach out any time.

Rev

You are never alone. You are already communicating here...that means you are a part of something greater than yourself...this community and this family right here. We go do get it and we do have your back here.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

Thank you everyone; it is so reassuring to know I am not actually alone and that you understand me.

I wanted to talk to friend or family today (who are all amazing btw) but sometimes it is hard when they don't actually understand what I went through. You all here on BPDfamily do.

Yes we do indeed. Whenever you are down come here. We may not respond immediately but one of us will see it and respond accordingly. You are never alone here.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

Yes. Going through the trauma of abuse actually changes neural pathways in the brain.

It hurts to know that someone would devalue you so much that they would cause harm to you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s particularly harmful when it’s a person you loved and cared for and that makes the abuse painful on a very deep level.

I'm so sorry you are feeling alone and yes, we all feel that way. I'm around 4 months and while things are getting better, I still feel that way on almost a daily basis. Luckily, there was no physical abuse in my situation. The sudden devaluation, the abrupt ending of the relationship, and the cold and mean behavior afterward has been a traumatic experience for me. I never experienced anything like this in my life and without any explanation from my ex, it took a while to grasp what was happening and why. I'm also lucky to have family and friends who are there for me but sometimes there is nothing like communicating with others who have been through similar experiences.