BPDFamily.com

Our 9 year old has been showing signs of BPD since age 2, but I just figured it out last year.

Public school has been more difficult in 2nd and 3rd grade.
 :help: What should we put in a new IEP primarily for emotional disability (secondarily ADHD)?  :help:

Think big and pretend there is no $ limit.
We have already tried behavior interventions like deep breath coping skills and taking a walk with the counselor.
No intellectual or learning disability and quite cute when he's happy.
He's screaming and threatening to en.d h.imse.lf and making obnoxious noises to get out of class.
He's very anxious and may need a private school or small contained classroom like an autistic kid.
(I don't have the emotional strength or time to homeschool him.)
what has helped your student or young child?
or what would have helped you as a kid in school?

thank you
from a tired mom, dad, older sister, and maxed-out school staff

Welcome to BPD family. 

BPD is not diagnosed until later on in life.  Where there may be symptoms consistent with BPD, generally it is called something else, like 'oppositional defiance' like tendencies [my child].

What does the pediatrician say when you bring up these behaviors?  If you haven't I think a chat with them is appropriate.

Public schools have better resources to deal with children on the spectrum - what does your school counselor have to say on this?

Also since there is no $ limit on this, get a psych eval for him too.  While you are at it, get some help for yourself too as you can better cope with this situation.

If you want to see more about my children, drill down on my user name.

Hello sparrowgarden, another welcome to the group from me.

It's a good thing that you're willing to go all out now to get your child the help he needs, vs "hoping he'll grow out of it".

As SaltyDawg mentions, at least here in the US, BPD is typically an adult (or at least later adolescent) diagnosis. However, one thing we often talk about here, is that we aren't here because of a label bothering us, we're here because of seriously problematic behaviors, whatever they're called and whatever the age of the person.

Have you heard of Wrightslaw.com (https://www.wrightslaw.com/)? It is described as a site where "Parents, advocates, teachers, and attorneys come to Wrightslaw for reliable, up-to-date information about special education law and advocacy for children with disabilities." You can search topically A-Z and find many articles/links/resources for issues like behaviors, IEPs, assessments, accommodations, etc. They even have an article about "What You Need to Know About IDEA: IEPs for Children with Behavior Problems" (https://www.wrightslaw.com/howey/iep.special.factors.htm). Wrightslaw would be considered a reputable site about IEPs, 504's, behavior issues, etc.

If finances aren't an issue, you can consider whether getting multiple assessments, even to "rule out" various conditions/diagnoses, might be helpful, just so you aren't left wondering (or having to explain to school staff) "well we aren't sure whether it's autism or BPD or ODD or not, but there are issues" -- so that is one sense in which getting "a label" can be helpful for getting specific, targeted, effective intervention.

You can also consider looking up a few lawyers in your area (or even your state/province) who specialize in SPED or education law, and getting initial consultations with them (initial consultations are typically free or lower cost, or at minimum do not require putting the L on retainer) about your child's legal rights with IEPs, and how to close loopholes on IEPs to make sure you don't have to keep fighting to get more than the bare bones services.

Another idea is reaching out to a reputable adoption agency ONLY because they often have experience with kids with RAD and severe behaviors -- this would only be to see what support groups/resources they offer for parents with high-needs, intense-behavior kids. (Not suggesting putting your child up for adoption, let me be very clear!). A reputable site is Holt International (https://www.holtinternational.org/), which has an entire section on Parenting Resources (https://www.holtinternational.org/parenting-resources/), including "Supporting Your Child In School" (under "Disabilities").

I suspect that Wrightslaw will be a good first place for you to start with finding specific ideas for a well-tuned IEP.

You guys are doing great to get support for your kiddo at this age. Keep up the good work, take time for yourselves, and let us know how you've been doing;

kells76