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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: G.etnaclavac on January 28, 2023, 10:12:47 PM



Title: How long do I have to wait ?
Post by: G.etnaclavac on January 28, 2023, 10:12:47 PM
My husband has BPD. We've been married for 6 years and we knew about BPD 1 year ago. Since the discoverment he has been changing a lot... our discussions doesn't have the same frequency. But when they happen, he ofends me a lot. I hate this.
I know he is changing,but on the other hand, I fell stupid in being in a relationship like this.
My pride hurts...

(We have a two-year-boy)



Title: Re: How long do I have to wait ?
Post by: SaltyDawg on January 28, 2023, 10:28:36 PM
Welcome to BPD family.

Without knowing more specifics to your situation, that is a tough question to answer on how long you have to wait.

Is he in a DBT program?  If not, why not?

I am assuming he is 'self-aware' and he really wants to make things better.

If this is the case follow your moral compass of your marriage vows.

However, if he isn't, then also follow your gut feelings.  It takes two to make a successful relationship.

Do you have your own individual therapist?  If not, I would suggest getting one to help sort out your own emotions.

Be sure to practice self-care during your mental health journey with your husband.

Let us know more of your story after you read other peoples story, we are a 'family' and we get it.

Vent your frustrations, ask your questions, there are many here with differing perspective on what has worked or has not worked for them under similar circumstances.

Take care.


Title: Re: How long do I have to wait ?
Post by: Gutt3rSnipe on January 29, 2023, 04:55:29 PM
[
My husband has BPD. We've been married for 6 years and we knew about BPD 1 year ago. Since the discoverment he has been changing a lot... our discussions doesn't have the same frequency. But when they happen, he ofends me a lot. I hate this.
I know he is changing,but on the other hand, I fell stupid in being in a relationship like this.
My pride hurts...

(We have a two-year-boy)



From what I understand about BPD in doing some internet research is that the disorder doesn’t magically get better for  people. (Although there has been studies that it can become more manageable with age?) More than likely, pretty intense therapy will be needed for there to be any substantial improvement in the person suffering from the disorder. In other words, until treatment for your husband your relationship will be at best unstable, and at worse a confusing nightmare.