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Title: Non BPD Parent experiencing alienation from adult children Post by: picturelady on January 29, 2023, 06:22:26 AM I'm not sure where to post this. I don't see any message boards specific to this situation, but I am certain it is a challenge for others as well as myself. I started coming on these message boards about 15 years ago. My husband whom I am now divorced from had all of the behaviors of narcissistic or bpd. Also my oldest daughter was borderline and had become a runaway and an alcoholic. Fast forward 15 years - an excruciating Journey with lots of difficult choices. My ex is remarried. All four kids are as stable as I believe possible. The weirdest thing? They are now disrespectful and somewhat alienated in their relationship towards me. The father who was never there for them and inflicted great damage now demands that they spend every Christmas with him, and they comply. I work hard to maintain a supportive, loving relationship towards each of my children, but it feels as if they now treat me the way their father did. Anyone else experience this? It is a painful and lonely road.
Title: Re: Non BPD Parent experiencing alienation from adult children Post by: Pook075 on January 29, 2023, 03:14:07 PM I'm not sure where to post this. I don't see any message boards specific to this situation, but I am certain it is a challenge for others as well as myself. I started coming on these message boards about 15 years ago. My husband whom I am now divorced from had all of the behaviors of narcissistic or bpd. Also my oldest daughter was borderline and had become a runaway and an alcoholic. Fast forward 15 years - an excruciating Journey with lots of difficult choices. My ex is remarried. All four kids are as stable as I believe possible. The weirdest thing? They are now disrespectful and somewhat alienated in their relationship towards me. The father who was never there for them and inflicted great damage now demands that they spend every Christmas with him, and they comply. I work hard to maintain a supportive, loving relationship towards each of my children, but it feels as if they now treat me the way their father did. Anyone else experience this? It is a painful and lonely road. My BPD wife and I split almost six months ago, and both of our young adult kids we're 100% on my side. Fast forward to today, and she demands all of their time (when she wants it) while insisting that I'm an evil monster that they should have nothing to do with. Somehow they were 100% on my side when she left, they know she was completely wrong, yet they still run to her and obey her at every turn. I have a 6 month old grandson I've seen maybe 8 times total, while I see weekly pictures of my wife's secret boyfriend holding the baby on Facebook. It literally boils my blood but there's nothing I can really do about it; not going to bad-mouth my wife to the kids and engage in any of the negativity. |