BPDFamily.com

 Hello!
I need help. I understand that all BP´s are diffrent but in some way they still work similar ways. Three years ago I started to date this women I was familiar with for a few years. She told me that she got diagnosed with BPD 8 years earlier, but later been told that they misstook it for ADHD so they changed it to ADHD instead together with general anxiety and chronic depression. In the beginning the relationship was magical! I never met anyone that easy, fun, kind and happy. After a while she began to show the other sides of her but we still manage it to work and be pretty solid. After 6 months I started working in the city she lived in and she suggested that I should move in with her. So I did, almoust, she ended the relationship when I had move half of my stuff in to the apartment. And I didn´t understand what happend because everything was fine a few hours earlier. After a few weeks I came to get my things and that day ended in that we had sex and keept in touch for another week before she ended it again. After that I did not hear from her for almost 6 months. Then we begun to hang out as friends for a few months before she told me she had romantic feelings for me again. They disapered quickley this time and we were back to friends again. In may 2022 we decided that we should be in a relationship because we thought we were ment to be. She told me that I am her safe person, I feel like her home and she can be herself around me and never have to hide anything. I has been so good and solid until october when her ex texted and said that he will began working at her job. I was honest and said that I didn´t really liked that, he was kind of creepy. We had an argumet about it and worked it out. She has had a hard time at work the last year and have no selfesteem to apply for another. She goes in trauma teraphy and 3 mounts ago she started to see her mother that she hasn´t have any contact with in 4 years. Sadly it turns out that her mother is ill, she has lung cancer. The same week that we found out that her job called and said that they don´t have anything for her to do right now so she has been home for almost 2 months. The illnes of her mother strucked her very hard and shes been all over google searching for answers. And she has not got much sleep since we found out. All this built up to caos at home and we fight a lot. It ended with her breaking up with me 2,5 weeks ago over a GIF I posted on her facebook. She said that we should not have contact for a while so we can go back to beeing friends later on. She has gotten this outburst latley about that she thinks its better that i sleep with other woman, for example she has named most of my friends. And she says I would be better of without her, and that she wises that i find someone who can give me what I need and make me happy.
I think that alot lays in all the things happen latley, because it kind of came out of the blue, its been hard from time to time the last 6 months but just a week before we went to a consert, holding hands, making out, went to a romantic dinner and planned the future together.
Shes acting so wierd, and I feel so confused. I just wonder if anyone reconise this pattern? It feels like her brain is owerheated.

Hi and welcome :hi: I think most of us here can relate to your story. People with BPD can be overly sensitive with their emotions and may go back and forth with their opinions of people, especially those they're close to. She might just need some time to sort through things. You could leave a simple message that you're there if she's open.

Aside from that, take care of yourself and your mental health. Go out and do something you like. Also take a look at the Tips menu at the top of the page and the book, Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. What do you think?

Thank you Jabiru!
I hope thats the case even tho she says it´s really over. I think and understand that all this is to much for her to handle and that she prefers to do it on her own without me because no one has ever been there for her in good and bad. I promised her not to leave and told her that I love her and I´m here for her if she needs and wants. I will take care of me and work on me so I can be a better me for me, for her and for others that will need me 

Still haven´t heard from her since 1 1/2 weeks. Then we had a good time, at least I thought that we did, it lasted for 4 hours. When we broke up she paused her FB and restricted me on messenger and instagram. Today she started her FB again and my anxiety whent up, I don´t really know why I don´t like it. It should be a good sign that she is feeling better after all the caos with her mothers cancer ande the lack of job.
Why am I so confused?  Happend to anyone else?