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I had a horrible dream last night about my stbx H. It involved circumstances where I thought he was going to kill me, which actually happened in real life this summer. So, the scariest part was despite this being a dream with some differences, it did happen to me.

I woke up in a panic attack, like a PTSD episode. It was horrible. I've been struggling ever since this morning and could use a kind word or two. Unfortunately, my T doesn't work until tomorrow.

Hi butterfly—what a terrible dream (and memory), I’m so sorry. Can you try grounding yourself? When I wake up from terrible dreams I try to focus for a moment on the feeling of physical sensations at each part of my body (the feeling of my mattress, pillow, etc). When that doesn’t work I get an ice pack from the freezer and hold it against the back of my neck. It helps brings attention away from the thoughts and instead to the physical feeling of the cold.

Dreams are just dreams, the can’t hurt you. Thoughts are just thoughts. These feelings hurt right now, but they will pass.

Glad you can talk to T tomorrow. Hang in there for today.

Hi cranmango,

thank you for responding, it helps so much just to know someone is listening. I was able to do a grounding exercise on my meditation app after I cried a bit. Very startling experience to wake up like that.

My day is going better but it's still haunting me. I think I'll take a walk in a bit to get some fresh air. The cool compress idea is great!

We are here for you YB. You share and vent to your heart's content.  :hug:

Cheers and Best Wishes!

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Definitely bring this up to your T tomorrow.  It may have been a 'flash back' which is a characteristic of c/PTSD.  Dreams are your mind's way of reviewing memories, and I am sure it was very impactful to you.

Sending you virtual hugs.   :hug:

Take care, and continue doing self-care.

Yeah, I'm pretty certain it was a dream/flashback PTSD. I'm glad I have my T tomorrow as this has set me off all day not being able to work or get too much done. Though I'm doing some self-care and meeting myself where I am right now.

 :hug:

Thanks for the update, let me know how the session went.

 :hug:

Dreams can shake me to my core. I know when my Mom passed, some of them really horrified me, and brought up some feelings I was not processing in the day time. They are a good way to process things, to help you heal. That being said, it can feel pretty overwhelming to deal with sometimes. Sounds like you have a good attitude about it, hope you feel better.

Hi all, thanks for responding the other day. I was able to see my T and go to my group as well. Very helpful.

It was definitely PTSD flashback - I talked to my T about how to stay grounded. It was also reassuring to hear others in my group T have had similar experiences and we talked about how they handle them.

Wow, was it scary at the time. I do know it's likely to happen again during this healing process but now I know to oddly expect it in a way.

Feeling rather down this week so I'm trying to do some self-care: pilates, hot baths, and giving myself time to process.

Wow, was it scary at the time. I do know it's likely to happen again during this healing process but now I know to oddly expect it in a way.

'Expect the unexpected'


Feeling rather down this week so I'm trying to do some self-care: pilates, hot baths, and giving myself time to process.

Best thing you can do for yourself:  Self-Care.

I am having panic attacks and PTSD flashbacks. Not doing great. Luckily I have T today

Sending you a virtual hug while you are 'not doing great'.   :hug:

Self-care.  Going to your own individual therapist.  Venting here.  Exercising, ideally outside.  Getting lost in a book/move/tv show.  Pampering yourself, hot shower, getting your nails done, going out with friends, etc. 

Don't ruminate and lament alone at home, that will make things worse.

Take care.

Thanks SD! I ran some errands, walked, and then a friend came over for dinner. Helps so much.

Sad part is, I'm not sitting around at home. It's when I'm out/trying to work or at random. Or in the middle of the night. Arg.

I am going to meditate before bed tonight!  :hug:

Keep your head up YB. Just focus on dealing with things as they come and focus on what you can control and what is in your control. Just don't let it hit you like a freight train and then allow the avalanche to happen. Stay in the moment and just let things process and work themselves out.

We are here for you.  :hug:

Cheers and Best Wishes!  |iiii

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Meditation before bed is great for ptsd. I try doing it every night. I used to do it every morning, too, but I slipped out of that over the busy holiday months.

I like doing meditations that focus on the breath and deep breathing. My T got me started on deep breathing three years ago and I have to remind myself to keep doing it because I get caught up in all the responsibilities and stress I have and I get tense, which makes my ptsd worse. When I stop and take time to do the deep breathing, it helps reset my limbic system from fight/flight/freeze to “rest and digest”.

So accurate! I've been trying to do some mediation/deep breathing exercises each day. I was really good about it a few months ago and saw great strides with it. Now my PTSD is actually settling in and so I need to keep up the toolkit of things that help.

How long have you struggled with PTSD? It is really hard, isn't it? This is my first-year experience with it.

Sending more hugs.   :hug:

Here is a brief list of things from the Mayo Clinic that may also be helpful:

I’ve experienced over 40 years of various traumas, ranging from my mother’s suicide attempt when I was 2 to emotional abuse and neglect as a child, to witnessing the murder of one of my friends and surviving two abusive relationships as an adult. My T thinks I probably had ptsd years ago, as a teen or early 20’s. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my early 40’s. It was coming to these boards in 2018 that made me realize I probably had complex ptsd, and that was later confirmed after I started trauma therapy.

I don’t struggle as much as I did, but I still struggle, particularly if I don’t take the time to use the tools to manage my symptoms.