BPDFamily.com

I posted back in August about my wife being in a Behavioral Hospital after a psychotic break and was asking about how to get more information.
Well she was released by court order AMA after 28 day of zero contact, not no contact with me, but none with anyone we know, not her sisters, not her grandparents not her best friends. because it was by court order either I could arrange transport home for her or she would walk out onto the streets 250 miles from home with no  She came home and it seemed like things were getting better. Well I'm afraid they have taken a huge turn for the worse. She had recovered enough to start functioning and apparently planning.  
On the 23 rd took my daughters and ran into the middle of the winter storm that is happening in Southern California. about 900 miles from home. She left her and the kids phone at home so she couldn't be tracked. She emptied our account to buy a new car cash $40k (that we can't afford) abandoning our current car $12k in the dealership lot. We have only been able to track her via credit card usage.
It has been 10 day and there have been no hotel charges so we think they are living in the new car.
Oh and she took our 2 dogs with too.
To file for custody in my state I have had to file for divorce.
We are waiting on the court system and hope to have a temporary custody order tomorrow. Then we have to track them down. We think she has a prepaid phone and we think we have a way of getting that #. Which would allow Law Enforcement to track her to enforce the custody order.
I have never gone more than 2 days without talking to my kids and I am going nuts.
One of the hardest parts is that I still desperately love my wife. Our 20th wedding anniversary was this summer and we had 19.5 wonderful years before she got sick. I still dream that she will get treatment and come back to herself.
I know this goes way beyond BPD but I needed a place to rant. I hope you don't mind but I need the catharsis  of getting this out.
I am working to take care of myself, making myself eat, trying to sleep and get a little exercise. I have family staying to help and a tremendous support network and realize how lucky I am to be surrounded with such incredible people. I will try and keep you guys in the loop, but I don't know how much time I will have when I get my kids home and try to figure out what can be done for my wife.

Wow man - I have no words.  I would think she could be brought up on kidnapping charges as well as endangering a minor.  Just sounds like a horrible situation.  Please keep us posted. 

Hey Roc, I'd been wondering how you guys were doing. I'm sorry it hasn't gotten better.

Keep posting/venting/journaling here, whatever you need, to get through the next few days of finding your kids. Hunting for a missing family member takes a huge amount of every kind of energy you have, I get it.

So glad to hear about your support network. Now is an appropriate time to lean hard on everyone around you. Don't worry about "asking too much". People get it and want do anything to help you get your girls back and safe. Follow up on the legal stuff (kidnapping/child endangerment/emergency custody) or outsource it to someone you trust (I'm assuming you have a lawyer at this point) -- keep your kids as the top priority.

It is OK to tell yourself, "First I will make sure my kids are safe, then I will work with my feelings of still loving my wife". You don't have to figure out those feelings right now, it is OK to wait for a better time to do that. And it is OK to still feel love for her even with everything going on.

Post whenever works for you, no pressure. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

kells76