|
Title: Is it better to appease him? Realtor appointment Post by: Sunflower123 on March 12, 2023, 10:13:33 AM I'm back again. Things have settled down a lot and my pwBPD has been on a small business trip for the past week. He just got home. Before he left he told me that when he gets back we were going to have an appointment with the realtor. I got him to settle down by telling him that I want to work together with him.
I still do not want to sell our condo. I've been applying for a lot of jobs in the meantime and I've also spoken to a lawyer who told me that he can not sell without my permission. (Although he could potentially hire a lawyer as well and start a process of separation without me). My question is, should I go with him to the realtor appointment? It's tomorrow. The appointment would be to explain the next steps in selling, and the process, and if we want we can sign (I wouldn't obviously) or take it home and think about it. They can't start the selling process until we both sign. Since my pwBPD seems to be in a better mood now that I said I want to "work with him" do you think I should go to the appointment to appease him or will this do more harm than good? Is it better for me to say I can't go? Or will that trigger him further? He tends to think that "I'm his enemy" when he splits and that I'm doing things against him. I was thinking of contacting the realtor myself and telling him I have no intention to sell, but I'm not sure if he would tell my partner that I did this. I really need some advice. :help: Title: Re: Is it better to appease him? Realtor appointment Post by: Pook075 on March 16, 2023, 08:09:36 AM To me, it feels like you're walking on eggshells over this and trying to avoid the fallout as long as possible. You've drawn a line in the sand- you're not selling. Are you willing to lose your relationship over that?
I guess my advice here would be to pick your battles. You want the apartment, he doesn't. You want to talk about it, he doesn't. You don't want to see a realtor, he does. You're divided on all of these things and there's only two paths forward- either working together to make a decision (what married couples do) or just do whatever he wants (what people married to BPD do). Nobody here can tell you the path forward in this situation other than to say to stand your ground on what really matters to you. The longer you delay that though, the more it feels like it's going to blow up in your face. Is couples therapy an option? That would give you a safe space to talk this out directly. |