BPDFamily.com

Hi, first post here. I've been on and off with my ex BPD partner for 2 years.

Recently she came to me and said she wanted to date other people.
I wasn't angry, I just said I wasn't prepared to be "the other guy" and that obviously our dynamic would have to drastically change.

Over the last year she's maybe brought this up over 3 times. And I've said the same thing.

Although this time I just said I can't be a part of it anymore.

She then called me a few days later to try and sort out a way we could be friends. Seeing as "I can't date you because when we argue, I go home and cut myself"

And also said she wasn't going on any dates, just was a guy who her mother knows who's putting on a gig.

Anyway. I said OK, let's start a fresh, and we can be friends.

I didn't see her then for about 2 weeks, but on the day we arranged to meet she changed the time about 4 times and then met me later in the evening.

She asked about me and we were getting along well.

She asked me about dating and I said I'd been asked on a date.

Which was true. She then grabbed my phone as I was using it and started reading what this girl had asked me.

She then told me I was double standards and ran out the door.

I followed but she was in such a scary dark place I called her mother to go see her.

Anyway.

She's blocked me.

Roll on 2 weeks later. I get a text saying "I've blocked you, don't call or text, I need space, and I'm in hospital"

And blocked me again.

Roll on a week later and now I'm getting texts from her mother saying "she doesn't want to be friends"

And now today another from her mother saying "I wish you two could get back together, you were always the best one for her, and I am sad you're not still a couple, and I appreciate everything you've done for her"


My head is utterly mashed to pieces.

In short, she doesn't want to date me...
But if someone else asks me on a date then I have double standards for saying if she dates it will change our dynamic.

She blocks me.. And then unblocks just to make me worry about her in hospital.

And then  her mother to text saying that she wishes we were still together.

Can anyone explain this at all?

Are you sure her mom sent that and not her on her mom's phone?

That's a possibility. It's also possible that her mother passed on the message and then told you her thoughts and her mother is sincere, but triangulating. It doesn't matter what her mother wants. My ex MIL told my ex not to leave me also. But it doesn't matter what mother wants, or even your ex (?). It matters what you want. It's this treating you like a friend?

You might be able to be friends later, but the hurt seems still too fresh on both sides.