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Title: My relationship with a bpd person Post by: uzz on April 14, 2023, 01:51:42 PM More than a year ago I met who today´s my girlfriend, we are about to have a year of dating. Soon in our relationship, she talked to me about her strong psychological condition, she has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but she cannot be diagnosed with bpd because of her age (we both have 17 years old). However, every psychologist or psychiatrist said to her that she has the symptoms. She described to me bdp as having strong angriness problems, and I discovered through time what she is talking about. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, and my problems make the situation very complicated, but we remain trying to keep our relationship because we feel very happy and comfortable with it. However, last 2 or 3 months I´ve experienced problems with supporting her in crises and I got mad or very sensitive. I feel confused, sometimes I ask myself questions like "Should I have to stay in this relationship?" "Should I deserve this?" in the end I realize that is my fear and the heavy situations I pass through with her that make me ask questions like that because when she is in a normal moment, questions disappear. I´ve experienced the fear of feeling things for another person, the fear of being alone, the fear of her changing me, the fear of losing my life trying to help her, and now the only question I ask myself is "Is this normal?" My problem is how to learn to deal with these questions and crises that I experienced while she is in the middle of an episode, for that I was looking into these kinds of pages and forums that provide a place to talk about this.
To end I want to let you note that English is not my native language (I´m from Peru) and if you cannot understand something I would be pleased of clarify it Title: Re: My relationship with a bpd person Post by: Cat Familiar on April 14, 2023, 04:39:27 PM Yes, teenagers typically are not diagnosed with personality disorders, as brain development continues well into the twenties, and often what seems like a disorder in the teens might disappear with maturity. However that mental health professionals have thought she might be afflicted with BPD is telling.
What is typical is that BPD symptoms become more noticeable when relationships deepen. The people who have the closest intimacy with individuals with BPD (family members, close friends, lovers) are the ones who usually observe more of the problematic behaviors. That you are asking if you “should have to stay in this relationship” is a red-flag and you are wise to question if this is healthy for you long term. |