BPDFamily.com

My so and I have been together around 5 months. He is 5 days into an episode. I am quite a distance away so couldn't just call in even if he would let me. I've been asked to leave him alone unless he messages me first.  No calls. He can't seem to get out of bed or stay awake and there are a lot of negative things going on for him at the moment.  This is all quite new to me.  I'm doing my best to be supportive but his actions do hurt me.  I know better than to say this right now because I will be accused of trying to make him feel guilty.  Since I posted this earlier he has called me shouted at me, told me his whole life is caving in around him.  I asked him if he wanted to put a pause on the relationship. Biggest mistake ever.  He said he wants to kill himself and that's all I'm thinking about. Obviously I was trying to help him but I know I can't say anything right at the moment.  I was told f off and hung up on.  I've just had another call with him screaming down the phone at me and a message telling me I might as well give him the rope and then another saying consider me done.  I'm not sure does he mean done with life... done with me..
My instinct tells me just wait now till he reaches out.  My heart is telling me to drive straight there even though I know he will freak out if I can even get an answer.  I'm at a loss. I've no idea what to do in this situation and I feel so alone

Hi Cmps75,

Your situation is unfortunately very familiar to a lot of us.  I wish that I had some answers for you but I only have questions.  Does your SO have other friends and family, or are you his favourite and only person?  Have they attempted suicide before?  I wish you well and can empathize.

He doesn't have much contact with family. Limited friends.  I appear to be his favourite person and the only one he trusts.  He has contemplated suicide before.  He has during the night told me that he won't do anything to himself because he's too vain and selfish he just needs to get through his but can't stop his head going.  He said he was ringing the hospital today to get an emergency appointment he believes he needs assessment and meds adjustment. From what I can see he has fallen asleep now and probably won't ring anywhere and the cycle will just continue. How do you switch off the worry? Can you?  Have you seen them come out of these states by themselves?

My experience has been that she comes around on her own, and actually, it happens faster than if I try to intervene and "help".  After many years of dysregulation and suicide threats my capacity to worry is pretty burnt out, to be honest.  It seems positive that they are aware of their disorder and need for professional help.  I would encourage that route as much as possible, because BPD is serious and if you stay in the relationship you will need support from outside.  Have they been formally diagnosed?  You may also want to find a therapist to speak to about what you're going through.  Take care.