BPDFamily.com

Hello to all here.

Been a long while since I posted and would like to do a condensed update. 

5/18/23 is the court date.  If all goes well, I'll be able to buy her out of her "claim" of equity in the real estate, and at least in my jurisdiction there are new guidelines for family court in regards to alimony.  It ends after 3 years.   Yes there was some fairly large financial shenanigan's on her part along with the common behaviors she was using to attempt to maintain psychological control over me. Taking the shenanigans into account, it still will be a blow but it will be something that I can recover from.

On that date it will have been 10 months and 21 days since she was escorted off the property in shiny police bracelets.

I'm in a much much better place than I was 10 months ago, and at 10 months I was in a better place than I had been at 18 months.   What I realized is that hearts and heads sometimes do not operate at the same speed.  While my head had all these examples and reasons, my heart wasn't caught up yet.  I needed to grieve.  Not just what was lost but what the could have been as well.   

I actually like the majority of my daily experiences now.  Work is good over all ( there are always those "days" but whole ton less of them ) going home, I actually like being there now.  Tis an amazing thing to realize that there isn't an endless stream of negativity directed at you.  Seriously, this is how bad it got.  brushing my teeth before bed could have triggered one of those circular "discussions" to where I would roll into work the next day with only 2 or 3 hours of shut eye.   Now?  I can use however much or little toothpaste I want, I can use whichever hand I want to, shoot!  I can even floss before brushing   lol   Or I can use one hand for the upper teeth and the other hand for the lower teeth. 

For a few months, the silence was deafening to me.  But now, silence is so blissful. 

Along the way, I learned that it wasn't me.  It was just my turn.  yeah, from 3rd and 4th level sources I've gotten intel that indicates she's doing the same old song and dance that she did to me 25 years ago.  That love bombing, whoo that is some next level, suckered me in good.  The flags where there, were visible but I chose to ignore them.   

After I have the freshly minted divorce decree in my hot little hand, then I'll start thinking about next steps.  One thing for sure tho, I'm not jumping back into the dating pool any time soon.  Got other priorities that need tending to since they were neglected from lack of time and attention.

Wishing all of you here, all the best.

Hi StartingHealing.

Enjoy this time.  You've earned it.

Thanks for the update.  Don't be a stranger. You never know who can benefit from your experience.

Rev