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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Kaoru15 on May 18, 2023, 04:58:12 AM



Title: Shall I give up?
Post by: Kaoru15 on May 18, 2023, 04:58:12 AM
Hello everyone, this is my first post.
I am not in a romantic relationship, but I am very close to a guy who shows many traits of BDP. We can share room, meals and enjoy together very well and I feel very comfortable with him. I know him since long ago, and although I always knew he was different I did not realize how severe was his mood changes until spending much more time together. I am very sorry to cnofess that he shouts at me multiple times for things that are minimum (of course, minmum on my eyes), such as me giving long explanations of things that should have been better explained in 5 seconds, because I am repetitive, or sometimes because I move the things from one place to another without any previous question. I have been shouted in a theater, insulted multiple times, and recently he insulted me in the most awful way up to now, even saying he is not happy with me and threatening of leaving me and my (our?) house. I should make clear that he does not lives with me but he likes staying at my place and sharing life together like a sexless couple, to be honest. However, I am not sure if  I am doing the right thing now. I started to study about BPD some time ago and found he shows many traits of this condition, which made me feel pity on him, but recently I am also feeling pity on my. I do not want to lose my friend, I can truly rely on him, I live alone in a country who is not mine (he is local) and he is my life companion. I very much love him, but I feel I am doing all wrong, I cannot speak to him about what happened because I am afraid to make him angry. Even worse, he get so angry that start feeling physically sick, then I make him distract and come back to a close-to-normal condition.
My friend is 38 y.  and has no diagnosis, he is not in drugs nor alcohol, does not have any stable girlfriend (so far I know) and a very big heart. I am so hopeless, I do not want to give up on him but I do not know how to continue, communicate with him, or carry on this situation anymore .  If anyone in this forum wants to help me , please leave me a comment.


Title: Re: Shall I give up?
Post by: Amina on May 18, 2023, 05:24:49 AM
I have not been able to give up on a partner I've been involved with for 3.5 years.  He is undiagnosed emotionally unstable personality, and will split me black after spending lots of great, close, and fun times together.  He blocks and unblocks my number all of the time, talks about other women suddenly and I don't even know if it's true--he seems to make up details sometimes and I don't know why. He watched my dog over a long weekend, and after he came over to get the keys, he refused to stay and hang out, started insisting he suddenly didn't love me, and could barely stay long enough to listen to the brief instructions on how to feed and care for my dog (who he has watched and cared for many times over the years).  Instead of calling her by her name, he starts calling her "the dog" and acts angry and annoyed, even though he loved her a few days before--yes he not only splits me black but splits my dog black too.