BPDFamily.com

For those of you who have not read my story, I don't know how to link to my posts so I'll summarize it. I left my stbxH uBPD last fall. It was a horrible attacking divorce post all of the abuse. I'm finally trying to heal but dealing with severe PTSD has left me in a precarious spot with working. I struggle to get work done, if at all and I'm continuing to lose clients in my business. First, I lost them from the abuse and now I'm losing them from the after-effects of it.

I am in all the therapies, and medications, trying to live this new reality.

Has anyone dealt with this?
Does anyone know of resources for disability from PTSD or DV? I am in the US.
Does anyone have words of encouragement?

I am not ok. This is so hard.

Hey yellowbutterfly, I totally get how you can struggle to work because of trauma and abuse, it's been one of my main limiting factors in working, and at this point I have CPTSD and sometimes Depersonalization, it's why I am on SSI disability, and why, despite badly wanting to work, it's never materialized for me recently. Although I haven't worked in a long time, at this point. I relate to feeling like the abuse causing you to lose a lot, it's a big change, it's hard to accept.

In my state (WA), I applied for SSI, they are extremely slow, and you need a good case, like a history of struggling with things, you get a lawyer that takes a part of the initial settlement, and you generally have to appeal at least once, it took like 5+ years to get on it, maybe longer, but depending on your circumstances, it might be possible to do that, even if you don't have a history, like if you explained to them the abuse.

Anyways, in my state there was this interm thing for people who apply for SSI, that could support me, through DSHS. It wasn't as good as SSI, but it was better than nothing. But, in your case, you probably have more of a work history, and so it might be easier, so you could maybe get SSDI, which is based on previous income, and payments into Social Security, and you get even more money. Might be a good idea to go with this route, just incase you need long term solutions, and then check state programs, like with DSHS, and food stamps when you qualify.

These are the only resources I know about. I think you could maybe call battered women shelters near you, and either ask directly for help, or if they have more resources, I bet they have all sorts of resources for women in your situation, my Mom worked in one, I wish I could remember what she did exactly, but I think she did often direct people to different resources, and talk to them about what they've been through.

I'm not going to sugar coat it, it sucks to lose so much, and figure out all this new stuff, change can be super hard.

My words of encouragement are this: When my Mom passed, I took her Shamrock plant, that was important to her, because she liked her Irish side, and it was withered and almost dead, like REALLY dead, but I watered it, and watered it, and gave it sun, and learned how to treat it well, to honor my Mom. And sometimes I treated it poorly because of hard times, and when my back was injured, I asked my Dad to water it, and I had A LOT of hard times, but I kept it at least alive, and during my recent hardship, I had forgotten about it, but it had withered down to literally one root, and one sprig of a leaf, and I could barely afford dirt to bring it back, the $6 of dirt was expensive for my situation, but I bought it anyways, and I had this small bit of hope, so I didn't give up on it. Then I watered it, and I turned it, and it's now got 3 huge leaves, and 2-3 more sprouting up. And it gives me hope, that even if I withered down to one freaking spring of a leaf, that if I water my plant, me, that I'll grow back again. I'm gonna be honest I thought I did it for my Mom, but now I think, I did it for me more than anyone.

Thank you NE

The story about your plant is very encouraging and helps to put things in perspective.

You're welcome yellowbutterfly, I'm glad it helped.