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Title: The combination of not trusting yourself and not trusting others Post by: NarcsEverywhere on June 16, 2023, 06:54:47 AM So like, yeah, my behavior has been so out of character sometimes, and it causes me to not trust myself, because it's hard to find trust when your consistency is lower, and you're acting more erratic. Also, if your memory is not as good, then you tend to not realize your improvements as much.
Then on the other front, if you've gotten burned a lot, you tend to need to heal before you can build more trust in people. So it's kind of a crappy combination of things, that isolates you. Anyone know how to deal with this? I am trying to improve my behavior and trust others more, but this whole combo is hard for me to deal with, as normally I can just rely on my own restraint and thoughtfulness to keep me safe, but my situation causes me to feel more vulnerable on both levels. Title: Re: The combination of not trusting yourself and not trusting others Post by: capecodling on June 16, 2023, 02:05:39 PM So like, yeah, my behavior has been so out of character sometimes, and it causes me to not trust myself, because it's hard to find trust when your consistency is lower, and you're acting more erratic. Also, if your memory is not as good, then you tend to not realize your improvements as much. Then on the other front, if you've gotten burned a lot, you tend to need to heal before you can build more trust in people. So it's kind of a crappy combination of things, that isolates you. Anyone know how to deal with this? I am trying to improve my behavior and trust others more, but this whole combo is hard for me to deal with, as normally I can just rely on my own restraint and thoughtfulness to keep me safe, but my situation causes me to feel more vulnerable on both levels. When you are with a BPD, essentially they infect you with their mental illness and you start to become like them. You may even start to exhibit some BPD or NPD traits yourself. Luckily, this tends to resolve if you remove yourself from the situation completely... for most healthy people, my understanding is this state of transient mental illness which we pick up is only temporary. Title: Re: The combination of not trusting yourself and not trusting others Post by: NarcsEverywhere on June 17, 2023, 07:07:58 AM I totally agree, I just tired of the regrets and out of character mistakes. But I guess I really need to not expect so much of myself, and show myself some understanding and self compassion.
I’m glad I have this super emotionally healthy seeming counselor, that seems empathetic and curious, which shows she cares. My situation is just hard to get out of, and I depend on myself so much that I get so exhausted. Causes everything to feel high stakes. |