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So, about three weeks ago, I found out my ex wbpd has unblocked me on social media how I found this out was through old memories about a week after she had unblocked I  had a little peak I know I shouldn’t but she has started to put my personal business out in public on her social media I just don’t  understand why would she do that I’m assuming this is  one form of  smear campaign or maybe trying to get me to message her or is this just to try to hurt me ? the back story of are relationship we dated for 2 years and she left me to go back to her ex which at the time she didn’t tell me and was going behind my back then she try to be my friend and I told her no and went no contact with her…. As I see this I shouldn’t be of any important to her since she had left me for someone else
thank you for taken the time to help me

Hi Baba-bing

Welcome to BPD Family.  Great place to get some non-judgmental information and advice.

If I understand correctly, you're asking how to think this odd behavior from your ex logically?

Well there's a short answer to this.  There is no way to understand it logically.  Who knows why people who suffer from BPD do the things they do. Most times they don't either.  Something may have simply brought back some random emotion that she attached to you in some way, so she lashed out.  Like I said, who really knows?

What can we offer you to fully detach from her?  Sounds like in your mind there may be some unfinished business?  Many people come here looking for a way to find closure when their relationship ends because they rarely end well.  Does that resonate with you in any way?

What do you think?

Hang in there.

Reach out any time.

Rev

To back up brother Rev here please take at look at this for reference: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3286221/

This is just one resource and reference that exhibits why you should not approach bpd with logic.

We understand and get it here with what you are going through. If there is any consolation...you are not alone, you are not the first and far from the last to be feeling and thinking the way you do.

Keep your head up and please be kind to you and take care of yourself.

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-

Yes I do have a little attachment maybe just how things ended and the lie that she had told me which I know it typical for pwbpd it just shock me to the fact that she put my personal business out in public I haven’t spoke with her maybe over 3 months I didn’t do anything to provoke her to attack me like this but I  just thought I would be forgot since she had left me for someone else thank y’all so much for the help

Hoe long ago did you divorce? What kinds of personal business of yours is she sharing publicly that is hurting you?

We date for 2 years she broke up with me about 6 months ago last time I talk with her was about 3 months ago when i rejected her friendship because I was going nc with her . She share to the public of my living situation then proceeded to calling me childish name. It’s not hurting me it’s just I don’t get it and I’m wracking my brain to try to understand why would she do that since she left me to go back to her ex. I assumed that I would have been forgotten since it was easy for her to jump back to her ex while we where still together at the time

it's not logical.   pwBPD (people with BPD) don't process information and emotions quite the same way you or I would.   so what would make sense for you wouldn't for her and vice versa.

people who are on the BPD spectrum have harmfully intense chaotic emotions that switch rapidly.    they also believe those emotions are caused by external events, people, places things.   

sometimes with those intense chaotic emotions they unconsciously look to make their external world match their internal world.    make sense?   its not a deliberate choice, it's more a maladaptive coping mechanism.

something stirred her up, maybe it was her current partner, maybe it was a memory, maybe something else entirely.    and to rid herself of the emotion she lashed out.     sharing the emotion makes it less intense for her.

we could speculate forever on what made her post.   and never really know for sure.    maybe she wanted attention,... so she puts up a provocative post.    maybe she had a moment of missing you, or thinking about you and felt she had to devalue you just as you had rejected her friendship.

my experience was that much of what my Ex did and said was about handling her intense emotions.

This was really helpful thank you maybe one day she will find peace and won’t have to lash out at me