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Some people in my position might have interpreted it as fate. How unlikely this whole sequence of events that happened to me is. How my friends suicide led me to accidentally get involved with the wrong people in a cascade, which led me to make a lot of poor decisions, while realizing the people in my life were abusing me. Which led me here, and taught me how to assert myself more after seeing through the bs.

Or how my Moms plant which I have cared for, for years, as a homage to her, even barely in rough times, managed to get down to one sprig of one root and I saved it with a 6 dollar thing of dirt I was reluctant to buy, because I am poor. And this plant, it’s doing better than it’s ever done.

I know a lot of women tend to like mystery, and are more inclined to believing in fate than me, even though I think I put off mysterious vibes, but the truth is, I don’t like it,  I prefer to know things than not know things. Trying to know things I can’t know has gotten me into too much trouble, as I am a man of logic.

But this whole idea of luck and persistence. I was both extremely unlucky and extremely lucky. I feel like I barely saved my plant, barely got a counselor who would do sessions over Zoom, barely didn’t just leave this place, and now I am barely starting to feel better, here and now at home.

There were times I felt hopeless, or like a god, even though I know trying to be one is foolish. But I persisted. I guess it’s something I learned my whole life, it’s how I’ve survived, but also it was strengthened in my meditation phase, that one day at a time, never give up, but rest when you need to, always persist  attitude can carry you through almost any hard time, it’s so much more powerful than it looks, because it’s so simple.

I persisted even though I had horrid luck, until I could get lucky enough to start finding my way out of this. Oh and that plant of my Moms, it’s a Clover Plant, because she loved her Irish Heritage. And that’s the closest you’ll ever have me say I believe in fate. That maybe, at least for tonight. I’m comforted, because I believe in The Luck of the Irish.