BPDFamily.com

Hi,

I am very confused with a behaviour of my friend. We were very close, she use to share everything with me. I use to still give her some space keeping in mind her needs and boundaries. I always tried to give the best I could and tried to give her reassurance when needed. She went through a difficult experience and since then she has been distant. Initially I tried to support her and continued with it. She tend to feel good after 10 days or so, I was going through something and somewhere I felt that she was lying to me. There was delay in my response and the response which I sent was cold. She assumed that something was wrong. I explained the situation and things are not good since then. She has been distancing herself. I respected her need for space and let her process it. She did shared a little at times, but never said much. I continued to be the same as I was. She use to send a reply addressing the support and always said she cannot connect as she is exhausted. I respected that and at times I felt as if I was being too much even though I was sending text once a day only. I also started distancing myself. As I did not wanted to trigger more pain to her.
When I distance myself she will send some text that makes me think that I am perceiving the situation wrong. She still values this friendship. But her behaviour makes me feel very devalued and disrespected. I have started to feel as if I am the one who has a problem. I am unclear if it is her way of ending the friendship?

With pwBPD, if they sense a whiff of possible abandonment, they will proactively withdraw and then “split” from you, the former favourite person. They will build a “case” against you, often illogically, so that they are protected from the threat of abandonment. These situations are difficult for us, the bewildered and (ironically) abandoned friend.