BPDFamily.com

Hi, my 24year old daughter with BPD has just failed her road test a third time. She doesn’t practice enough and will schedule the test thinking she’s ready.  She learned how to drive at 18 and wasn’t ready at all back then.  She was hospitalized in 2021 for10 days and hasn’t driven since.  Now she has been practicing with me and with her boyfriend.  When I took her out yesterday on a busy road she did ok but I don’t think she would have if I wasn’t there telling her what to do in certain situations.I just don’t think she’s ready.  While she’s improving, the comments the examiner made on her road test last week were discouraging.  Poor steering wheel control, not aware of traffic around her, too far to right side of road.  Is this a bpd thing?  She also has adhd and I know lots of people with that diagnosis who have no trouble driving.   She wants to get her license and be an independent adult and is trying so hard.  Has anyone had a son or daughter who is talking longer to get their drivers license? 

My daughter passed her road test the first time but was a reckless driver once driving.  She repeatedly smashed her car in minor accidents, the last of which she ran away afterward and has lost her license permanently. I feel better that she is not on the road.  Everyone is safer.  On the down side, she refuses to take public transportation and demands everyone taxi her around like a princess.  Sorry, I know this doesn’t exactly answer your question but thought I would share my experience. My daughter is in her early 30s.

Sorry I couldn’t help but laugh at this post. Not to ridicule but my stbxh ubpd passed his driving road test on the 8th attempt and he was in his early 30s. He had similar issues with your daughter too, booking tests when he wasn’t ready. He’s also narcissistic and lacks the ability to reflect on his failures- it was always someone else’s fault.

I am undiagnosed with ADD and passed on 3rd attempt- in my early thirties too. But then I only started driving in a different continent and took lessons for less than 2yrs.

My advice will be to hand over the teaching to a driving instructor and let someone else deal with it. She won’t rely on the instructor for emotional support. I know it’s more expensive but it will save your sanity.

My son is 27. He failed the driving test in school on his first try and despite my frequent cajoling would not take it again. I grudgingly drove him everywhere for the remainder of his time at home before college, then he went to college in NYC, where you definitely do NOT need a drivers' license. After college he moved back to NJ and still has not gotten a license. My two younger sons passed their written and driving tests on the first try. My BPD son seems to derive pleasure from getting people to drive him around and in using his lack of a license as an excuse for why he can't do X, Y, or Z.