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Title: BPD and favorite person Post by: Ursala on October 16, 2023, 10:29:48 AM What can a parent do when they adult child who lives with them is going through a break up. The other person wants to break up. What words or support can I give her. She has a job she needs to go to and I don’t know how to help her. Please help me. Maybe there are phrases that will help her.
Title: Re: BPD and favorite person Post by: Sancho on October 16, 2023, 11:05:35 PM Hi Ursala
This is really difficult for anyone let alone someone with BPD. Is it certain that they will break up? I can only suggest things that come to my mind. It will be important to find the right moment to say anything. I think when a moment comes it is good to make short statements and leave it at that for a while. When you find another moment - add something else. Working like this I would try to say things like: Separation is so hard, and even harder when it's not what you want. You must be feeling a terrible loss and huge gap in your life. The pain of loss is because you love someone; if you didn't love you wouldn't feel so much pain. When you feel really bad, tell yourself it's okay to feel like this - this is normal when you are grieving a loss. There is no timeframe for grieving. It's important to look after ourselves - enough sleep, eat well etc - because losing someone is perhaps the highest level of stress we can have. Keeping to a routine provides a framework for our lives while we grieve. It helps us hold together while the process goes on within us. Going to work will provide a firm framework to hold your daily life together. Can you think of other things you can add on a routine basis that would help? These are just some thoughts. Without knowing your dd it is hard to suggest things. Generally I find it is important to acknowledge how painful this loss is and that we don't get over it (ie I don't like the word 'closure'), but we incorporate the loss and grief into our selves - if that makes sense! Let's know how things are going . . . |