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Title: Hanging in there Post by: Cat1936 on October 29, 2023, 08:15:51 AM Hello, our adult daughter suffers from BPD and ASD. The first hospitalisation was 10 years ago. Lately she has been very abusive and I feel it’s time to give her space. Suffering from BOD, she switches the tables and says we’ve abandoned her and don’t want her for who she is. No matter how much we have shown the opposite, she can’t see it. It is heartbreaking but it is clear it’s time to set boundaries which of course she hates. Our last message explained that we were there when she wanted us and we left it at that. She’s extremely intelligent and now makes us the guilty ones for not communicating when every communication leads to us being abused.
Title: Re: Hanging in there Post by: Leaf56 on October 29, 2023, 11:41:27 AM Hi, isn't the guilt the worst? I feel it constantly, but I know for sure that letting him live his own life and having little contact is best for my own mental health.
Title: Re: Hanging in there Post by: kells76 on October 29, 2023, 03:58:16 PM Hi Cat1936 and welcome to the group -- glad you found us.
Hello, our adult daughter suffers from BPD and ASD. The first hospitalisation was 10 years ago. Lately she has been very abusive and I feel it’s time to give her space. Suffering from BOD, she switches the tables and says we’ve abandoned her and don’t want her for who she is. No matter how much we have shown the opposite, she can’t see it. It is heartbreaking but it is clear it’s time to set boundaries which of course she hates. How old is your D now? Has she been living at home? Ten years with more than one hospitalization sounds incredibly difficult, yet you're seeing that you could give 110% forever and it wouldn't feel like enough for her. You mention "we"; do you have a partner or spouse right now? Our last message explained that we were there when she wanted us and we left it at that. She’s extremely intelligent and now makes us the guilty ones for not communicating when every communication leads to us being abused. Hi, isn't the guilt the worst? I feel it constantly, but I know for sure that letting him live his own life and having little contact is best for my own mental health. Guilt shows up for a lot of people when there's a pwBPD involved. How have you coped with it so far? Fill us in on how you're doing, whenever works best for you; kells76 |