BPDFamily.com

So I read a headline about Matthew Perry: alcoholic from age 14, troubled life ends tragically.

It made me sad and took me back to being 14 and numbing my feelings with my mother's painkillers.  Made me remember my dad who died from alcoholism...also triggered a horrible body flashback to my teen years...drugs, alcohol and promiscuity and so much sadness and despair.  I am trying to forgive myself as I realize how much my mother's abuse wounded me, but it's hard sometimes.

 :hug:

You mentioned trying to forgive yourself... Do you tend to blame yourself for things?

I think my kids have watched every episode of Friends, more than one time. I have sat down with them and watched some of them. What a show, and also such sad news.

I understand how you would feel responsible for your actions as a teen- truly though, you were a child still,  not even a legal adult. It was your parents' role to protect you and they weren't able to- maybe because nobody stepped in to protect them as children either.

Have you considered ACA groups? I have found that program to be very helpful. I have met people who are in recovery from drugs or alcohol. I am impressed at some of their journeys and their resiliance. ACA helps with forgiveness for yourself- to not jugge yourself so harshly. I hope you can do this for yourself as you deserve it.

One of the most prophetic pieces of advice I have ever received was from a pastor talking about how to deal with hardship. 

He said that the past is dead and there's nothing we can do to go back and change it, but we can make decisions in the present to allow for real growth in our lives.  Our past failures are building blocks on who we are today, and we can use that either as chains to pin us down, or use it as inspiration to lift us up.  We can't thrive in the present until we're ready to let the past go and focus on who we're to become in the future.

I've made countless mistakes in life and have far too many failures, but each of those instances guided me to become who I am today.

Zabava I take solos that Mr Perry had a full life and a great legacy. And congratulate you and I for avoiding the same fate - i.e. being a famous Hollywood actor - I couldn't take that pressure.

Few people manage to deal with being a star...

I liked the Elton John biopic movie. It is his story. I hear his mother was a difficult person. She sure was mean in the movie.

I hear he supported her in her old age. He had the finances to do it without any impact on him but it also was an act of kindness on his part to do so. His Dad was awful too.

So here's one famous person who overcame abuse, alcohol addiction, and seems to have settled down with a stable long term relationship.

That's amazing.