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Title: Easier said than done Post by: Chains Candor on November 23, 2023, 06:23:22 PM 10 years married.
I love my spouse deeply. They also can drive me insane. They are very seasoned in tactics and responses. As long they are getting what they need it's ok. The moment I take a stand the fighting will go on escalating Until I give in. I'm aware of setting boundaries and so much more. I have no path, no way to reach. I often accept this and do my best but I'm burned out. I'm an old school person. My word is my bond. They have been through dbt . They are trying but truly are not capable at times. I'm exhausted. Help Title: Re: Easier said than done Post by: kells76 on November 24, 2023, 12:32:15 AM Hi Chains Candor, glad you found us. 10+ years is a long time to be coping with BPD -- anyone would be burned out from the fighting.
When you say your spouse is truly not capable at times, what does that look like (i.e. unable to keep a job, self harm, something else)? We'll be here for you; kells76 Title: Re: Easier said than done Post by: Chains Candor on November 24, 2023, 02:50:45 PM Hi Chains Candor, glad you found us. 10+ years is a long time to be coping with BPD -- anyone would be burned out from the fighting. When you say your spouse is truly not capable at times, what does that look like (i.e. unable to keep a job, self harm, something else)? We'll be here for you; kells76 Title: Re: Easier said than done Post by: Chains Candor on November 24, 2023, 02:58:47 PM It took me a bit to figure out how to reply.
When I say not capable I mean truly unable to see things beyond there lens. She cannot put them in my shoes. It will still be how they would see or deal with something. I like to use the phrase... How do you tell someone who's not listening they are not listening. They think it ridiculous when I have said this. Bpd affects everything in their life but that would be an argument of complete denial to have a discussion about this. Title: Re: Easier said than done Post by: Chains Candor on November 24, 2023, 07:44:54 PM Yes also..
Self harm she's panicked and froze at work so now getting back to dbt therapy. That's just the tip. |