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Title: Out of the mouths of babes… Post by: thankful person on December 17, 2023, 06:45:04 AM Lesbian marriage, I am Mama and dbpdw is Mummy. D4 has delayed speech and has only recently started articulating her thoughts and feelings more clearly.
D4: I had a fun day Mama! D4 happy! Me: I’m glad you’re happy and that you’ve had a fun day! D4: Mummy not happy. Mummy angry. Me: Mummy’s not feeling well. D4: Mama happy! (With a massive grin…) I know we have a long way to go. But I’m just so glad that D4 is able to identify that she can have different emotions from Mummy’s and that if Mummy’s not happy then D4 can still choose to have a good day. Any advice on how to talk to her about these things is always appreciated. Dbpdw was snappy and a bit shouty yesterday, because she is physically sick and as she put it “on a short fuse”. On other days there doesn’t seem to be any particular reason to explain her angry responses to kids being kids, so I feel there will come a point where I’ll be saying, “it wasn’t fair the way Mummy spoke to you…” I know this kind of fragmented parenting with one “criticising” the other is not ideal, but what other choice is there that’s most fair to the children? Title: Re: Out of the mouths of babes… Post by: SaltyDawg on December 18, 2023, 04:13:55 AM TP,
I think you handled that interchange quite well in an age appropriate manner without disparaging mummy, you did validate D4's feelings about mummy and in return D4 validated you. However, now that she is realizing this, you may want to find out resources for both yourself and D4 to help you navigate through this situation. There is nothing wrong with getting help when you need it, I use therapists, currently I have two active ones, an individual one, and a couple's therapist. Take care. SD Lesbian marriage, I am Mama and dbpdw is Mummy. D4 has delayed speech and has only recently started articulating her thoughts and feelings more clearly. D4: I had a fun day Mama! D4 happy! Me: I’m glad you’re happy and that you’ve had a fun day! D4: Mummy not happy. Mummy angry. Me: Mummy’s not feeling well. D4: Mama happy! (With a massive grin…) I know we have a long way to go. But I’m just so glad that D4 is able to identify that she can have different emotions from Mummy’s and that if Mummy’s not happy then D4 can still choose to have a good day. Any advice on how to talk to her about these things is always appreciated. Dbpdw was snappy and a bit shouty yesterday, because she is physically sick and as she put it “on a short fuse”. On other days there doesn’t seem to be any particular reason to explain her angry responses to kids being kids, so I feel there will come a point where I’ll be saying, “it wasn’t fair the way Mummy spoke to you…” I know this kind of fragmented parenting with one “criticising” the other is not ideal, but what other choice is there that’s most fair to the children? |